Page 58 of Tangled Sails

“He told me you were the only one who could help. I don’t understand what it is that makes him so crazy. I know things can get chaotic, but it’s not just that. It’s like everything is just too much. That’s what he used to say every time he had to leave when we were kids. He would just say, ‘It’s too much.’ I thought it was an excuse. But you…you helped him. He said you were the only thing keeping him sane. He needs you.”

A large part of me wanted to run to him without a second’s hesitation, but his dismissive words had been all too clear. “Isn’t that why the princess is here?”

He huffed in frustration. “She can’t help; you can. Will you come?” The way he asked—with desperation, strained patience, and a healthy dose of authority—made it impossible to refuse.

He was right; I could help. I didn’t understand why, but there was something about my presence that allowed Tavric to relax. “Where must I go?”

“He’s been in meetings most of the morning, but the formal audience is going to start soon. It’s the hardest for him and he’s already not doing well. Since he hasn’t allowed himself to be around you, he’s gotten so much worse. It’s like I can see him cracking right in front of me, and if he cracks in front of a room full of nobility…”

“What do you want me to do?”

“Just stand where he can see you.”

“During a formal audience? With all those nobles looking on, waiting to judge everyone they see?”

“I see you’re familiar with them. Do they intimidate you?” He looked worried.

“Well, no. I find them rather fascinating.”

That seemed to surprise him and he looked at me as if seeing me anew. “That’s encouraging.”

Was it? “You really believe that just standing there will do any good?”

He lifted his arms, then let them fall limp at his sides. “It’s the only idea I have. Please.”

“You’re a member of the royal family. I’m not going to say no.”

“It’s not an order. I’m asking you to do this for Tavric.”

I didn’t answer right away, even though I’d known my answer the moment he’d brought it up. Of course I would help. I wanted to help.

As soon as I nodded, his shoulders sank in relief, and the next moment, we were in motion.

Chapter seventeen

TAVRIC

Numbness was what I wished for. If I could sit amongst all this commotion and feel numb, that would be ideal. Instead, I was hyperaware of all the overlapping noises fighting for dominance, as well as the crush of the crowd that seemed to press ever closer. Yet I couldn’t pay attention to any of that because if I didn’t listen to whatever petition or issue was being put forth, then I couldn’t respond, and if I didn’t respond, then this audience would go on forever with nothing accomplished.

Sweat beaded my forehead and both of my hands were gripping the arms of the elaborate wooden chair as I tried to focus my energy there. The sleeves of my formal clothing draped dramatically over my hands and cascaded halfway to the floor. The weight of my ornamental robe was stifling, and the way the chain around my neck made noise every time I moved felt like it was poking at the inside of my skull. What would I do when I actually became king and I had to bear the actual weight of a crown on my head during these infernal forums?

Something would have to change. I couldn’t keep doing this over and over. But for today, I had to listen.

“This is the third time I have found Baron Teagly’s sheep grazing on my land.”

As Lord Hough presented his dispute, I was vaguely aware of the door directly to my right opening. It must be another one of my brothers. Caelmir already sat to my left, but perhaps they thought my panic was showing through and they’d decided to double up. It was a nice thought, but it also served to amplify the fact that they needed me to do better and I didn’t know how. No doubt whoever it was would take the seat to my right. There were several seats on either side of me, but I usually only allowed the seat to my left to be occupied by one of my brothers. Having more than one person whispering in my ear was detrimental.

I took a controlled breath, hoping my internal havoc was masked enough that it would not be seen by those in attendance—or make me look incompetent to the entire kingdom.

A murmur rippled through the audience, and I couldn’t figure out why until the swish of skirts approached and I looked over to see Princess Saria walking calmly toward me.

She was graceful, and only a little haughty. I willed myself to be relieved at the sight of her as she walked over, offered me a small smile, stepped up onto the dais, and sank elegantly into the seat beside me, looking for all the world as though it were nothing out of the ordinary for her to take a seat at my side during a formal audience.

This was good. This was precisely what needed to happen. Caelmir had been at my side, acting as my second set of ears. If the noise ever got to be too much and I was unable to focus on whomever was presenting their case, Caelmir could lean in and give me an idea of what to say. It worked, but only if we used it sparingly. I couldn’t be seen whispering to my brother every time I needed to speak. But if Princess Saria could sit at my side as my equal…

I hated the idea, even though I knew it was the most practical.

She seemed completely at ease sitting beside me, and I tried to let some of my own tension go. But when she reached over to lay her hand on my arm, no warmth seeped into me. My fingers gripped the armrest even tighter and my breath felt trapped in my lungs.