Page 53 of Conceal

“On it,” Niko replies. And now I don’t even fight the tears. I look at the two men who should love me more than anything, and I can’t believe the feelingless shells of men sitting across from me. They don’t care about me. They don’t even know me. If they did, they would know how much of a death sentence that is to me. Juliet is my heart horse - part of my heart and soul. If my soul lived outside of my body, it would live inside of her.

She’s my friend, my therapist, my partner, and I’ve had her for a decade.

I’d get rid of my right arm before I ever let her go. And just like that, my father has no trouble taking her away from me. My head aches harder now as the tears pour from my eyes and land on my hospital gown.

If they don’t love me like I want them to, why do they even care that I got hurt?

“There’s nothing I can do to convince you otherwise?” I ask, my voice small but steady.

Finally, my father bothers to look at me. “You could have died today. I’m not willing to risk my only daughter for some silly hobby.”

My chin quivers as I press my lips together. That’s it. Judge, jury, and executioner.

Not only have I lost three men that I love, but I’ve lost the only people on this earth that love me back, and now my only friend. I’ve lost my degree, my apartment, my freedom. I’ve lost everything.

There’s nothing left.

As we pull into the gates of the mansion I used to call home, I feel a thick and heavy depression blanket me. I don’t know if it’s meant to keep me from hurting, but the numbness spreads through my veins until I feel nothing at all.

Chapter thirty-four

Mikhail

Nikolai: Sell the horse

Istare at the text that just beeped on my phone, disbelieving what my eyes are telling me. The horse. Juliet. Tatiana's everything. There's no way. He can't.

I look at the barn around me, Juliet tucked safely in her stall next to the donkey, munching happily on soft hay. I have no idea if Niko knows where Tati boards Juliet, but there's no way I can let that happen.

I'm quick to type back.

Me: Of course. I'll let you know when it's done

I need a plan.

Me: I need an emergency placement for a horse. I can pay her board. Please tell me you have an empty stall

Katie: For you, of course

Katie's my new boss and is quickly becoming one of my favorite people. She's in her sixties, and her hands are mangled from arthritis, but her strawberry blonde/gray hair, smoker's voice, and overall don't-take-no-shit demeanor is refreshing. She's as kind as she is tough.

I throw Juliet's halter on and load her into the trailer, throwing as much of her grooming kit into the back of the truck as I can. She truthfully doesn't need much, and I'm not sure Nikolai even knows where Tati boards Juliet, but it's not a risk I'm willing to take.

Driving over to New Hope, I go through everything I need to do to make it seem real.

I need a bill of sale.

I need to move all of her tack and halters and ropes.

They won't think it's strange when I go to New Hope, because it's my new job.

I can't tell anyone. If Dmitri's monitoring our phones, it'll be a death sentence for Juliet. If Tati knows, she won't be able to keep awa from her mare. Tati has to think she's gone. A sinking feeling fills my chest. She's going to hate this. She's going to hate me if she thinks I sold her heart horse. But if I tell her where she is, New Hope is the first place she'll go. She won't be able to not ride. And then Lev and Rowan will know, and now I'm risking their futures, too, because they'll be labeled accomplices.

They'll have been compliant in my tricking and lying to the Chernovs. It's a death sentence.

And Tati needs them now more than ever.

No. This has to be my secret to bear. If they find out I lied, it's only my head that will roll, and two men who love Tati will remain.