Page 117 of Resisting the Fall

“You said you needed to practice, and there will be far fewer interruptions here.” I slid my arms down her sides and clasped them behind her back, placing a line of kisses along her neck and collarbone as proof of the level of distraction she would face back in Autumn Ridge. There was no way I could resist her if there was an option not to.

Her breath hitched, and her hand settled on the back of my neck to guide my mouth to hers. After a kiss that made me question my ability to return to Autumn Ridge without her, she leaned back slightly and looked up at me. “It’s going to be different this time, isn’t it?” she whispered against my lips.

“It will be.” I pulled away just enough to hold her gaze.

I needed her to see that I meant it. I wasn’t the same young newlywed who just pretended my worries weren’t there until they overtook my belief in a solution. If Maven got into the New York Philharmonic, which seemed all too likely, then there would be a lot to consider. Things that didn’t have obvious solutions. But we would talk it through instead of just making assumptions, decide together what sacrifices needed to be made. We would find a path that would serve us as a couple. Because it was worth the effort. We were worth the effort.

I kept my eyes fixed on hers. “I promise.”

Maven

Tchaikovsky’s Violin Concerto in D major. It was the right choice for an audition of this caliber, but the fingering on the cadenza was proving challenging. I definitely should have been practicing it more than I had the last few weeks. Thankfully, I’d spent so much time with the orchestral excerpts prior to my last audition that it gave me ample time to work on the concerto.

After my hundredth attempt on the cadenza, muscle memory kicked in, and I finally got through the entire thing without a single wrong note.

Was it perfect yet? Not close enough. But it was a victory that needed to be celebrated.

And, honestly, I just needed a break.

I set my violin on the bed and picked up the phone to call Ben, when I saw the time and remembered he was in a client meeting. Carson and my mom would also both be at work. Penny was still at school. Who else could I call? My mind sifted through my friends here in New York. Excluding the group of friends I’d met through Colin, friends I hadn’t seen much since our breakup, most of the others were fellow musicians. They’d definitely appreciate the accomplishment.

I stared at my phone, my thumbs tapping against the sides. So why didn’t I want to call any of them? The only people I wanted to celebrate with were hours away from me back in Autumn Ridge.

Except Cassandra.

With a quick text to Ben, relaying the exciting news, I went to search out Cassandra. I found her in her office, typing on her computer; and when I knocked on the frame of the open door, she glanced in my direction with a welcoming smile. “Why do you look so excited?”

I took a few steps inside. “That cadenza was brutal, but I got it!”

Her smile widened. “Sounds like something we need to celebrate! Do you have time for an ice cream break?”

Cassandra definitely knew my love language. “You know I always have time for ice cream.”

We dished ourselves up a scoop of vanilla bean that was soft and silky, then took a seat at the table.

When Cassandra took a bite, she closed her eyes, taking in the flavor with clear enjoyment. And I didn’t blame her. This was a piece of heaven from a shop that made all their own ice cream daily. “Did you know I used to not like vanilla ice cream?” She opened her eyes again. “But it was always Richard’s favorite, and over time, it grew on me.” She paused, her gaze distant and a slight smile curving her lips upward at the corners. “I’d even go so far as to say it’s my favorite now. Probably because it reminds me of him.”

I had never met Richard, but I felt like I knew him through all Cassandra had shared. “I love that! Ben listens to classical music for the same reason.”

She gave a small nod. “That doesn’t surprise me. He sure seems to love you.”

He did love me. He always had. I hadn’t thought so for a time, but neither of us had ever stopped loving the other—no matter how imperfectly we’d gone about it.

Cassandra took another bite. “So, have the two of you decided about what you’re going to do if you make it into the New York Philharmonic?”

“We both agreed it doesn’t make sense to decide anything unless I win the audition.” I paused, glancing up at her. “But I have been trying to figure out how we could make it work without Ben needing to move here. His business is doing so well, and he loves Autumn Ridge. I don’t want to force him back to New York just so I can live my dream.”

Cassandra gave a slow nod. “Have you come up with any ideas?”

“Not any good ones. Only that, if I do win it, a year or two in the orchestra would probably be sufficient. Ben could stay in Vermont and I could live here during the week, then I could commute home for the weekends.” Saying it aloud made it sound even worse.

She gave a tight-lipped smile. “You could. And you’d always be welcome to stay with me while you’re in New York.”

I scanned her expression. There was something she wasn’t saying. “What do you think I should do?”

“Honestly, I’m not sure. I know it has always been your dream to play in the New York Philharmonic, but to think of you and Ben living apart from each other breaks my heart. I feel you’ve done that long enough.”

A buzzing in my chest told me she was right. I couldn’t live away from Ben. I didn’t want to. But could I ask him to move back to New York? Could we leave the house he’d built us for the dream I’d always had? Even if it was temporary?