Page 136 of Cross Check

How much longer can I fight this battle with myself?

“You should be sleeping.” I pull away so I can look at him. “You have a game tomorrow.”

“And you should know I’d drop everything for you.” He rests his forehead against mine. Long eyelashes. The faintest flecks of green in his dark eyes. “Fuck the game.”

I’m drowning in him. Drifting out to sea, and I don’t want to come back to land. Not when his palms move lower, down to the base of my spine, and press me into him tight.

Never in all of my life have I wanted to pause time so I could stay in the moment as much as I do right now. I want to tie myself to him so I never have to leave.

He’s my favorite person in the world, and second place isn’t even in the same galaxy.

“I’m so glad you’re here. And I appreciate you so much. How you just… just knew that I needed some reassurance.” I hold his sweatshirt tight in my fist, keeping him close. “You know me better than I know myself.”

“You’re pretty easy to read after four years.” His mouth pulls up in the corner. “I have you all figured out.”

“Do you want to stay? I can make some tea. Or coffee, if you’re feeling adventurous.”

“I so badly want to stay, but it’s late. We both have important things to do tomorrow with the game and all, so I’m going to head out.” Grant blows out a breath. For half a silly second, I think he’s about to kiss me. “I couldn’t go to sleep without letting you know in person that I’m always going to be here for you, Lia. If you’re bored, lonely… It doesn’t matter. Being your friend is the greatest honor of my life, and if you ever need someone by your side, I hope you’ll pick me.”

He’s the most devastating, gut-wrenching part of my existence. I despise myself for walking into that Italian restaurant the first night we met, because now I’m staring at a man I can’t have while knowing no one else will ever be good enough.

“Right. Yeah.” I bob my head. A tear falls down my cheek, and Grant wipes it away with his knuckles. “It is very late.”

“Why the tears?” he murmurs. “What aren’t you telling me?”

I don’t want you to go, but I know you can’t stay. This was only supposed to be a crush, not a full-fledged adoration of another human being. I’ll always pick you.

“It was a long but good day, and I’m tired. I promise I’m okay.” I smile. “Do you want a ride back to your hotel?”

“Nah. I’ll Uber and hope Coach doesn’t catch me breaking curfew.”

“What if he does?”

“I’ll tell him something very important came up.” Grant’s gaze flicks over my face. I wonder how I look through his eyes. “It wouldn’t be a lie.”

“Will you let me know when you’re back?”

“Of course.” Grant pulls me into another hug. He lingers a beat too long before he lets go. “Good night, Lia.”

“Good night, Grant,” I whisper.

He gives me a final look, a drawn-out glance he struggles to break. When he does, he touches his bottom lip with his thumb, a soft laugh filling the space between us.

The sound plays on a loop until I fall asleep, and I hear it again in my dreams.

FORTY-THREE

AMELIA

“Afternoon, Coach.” Jude pokes his head in my office and smiles. “Do you have those line adjustments for me?”

“Right here. The good news is we’re going to be okay in the two weeks Peterson is out with his injury.” I stand and bring him the notes I’ve been working on for the better part of two hours. “I moved McDonald from the third line to second and bumped Castle up to first. Felt like he worked better with Ultzman to cover the ice.”

“I like that change. Did DC list any injuries for tonight?”

“Nope. They have their full lineup, which includes Ryan Seymour as Riley Mitchell’s replacement on the first line this season.”

“I still can’t believe what happened to that poor kid.” Jude sighs. “At least Saunders got the league to offer him an exemption to be a non-uniformed player. He still has hockey in his life.”