“Different good or different bad?”
Keegan thought about the question long enough to make Owen look at him again, and this time, the blond imp was smiling. “As if I’d ever insult you.”
“Sounds more like an observation than an insult,” Owen replied.
“You seem distracted, maybe. Is it because Tyler isn’t with us?”
Owen braked at a four-way intersection and searched Keegan’s expression once more. His furrowed brow and downturned lips said he was definitely worried. Get your head out of your ass, Doyle. He returned his attention to the road and eased through the intersection. “I’ve driven you to therapy sessions for months without Tyler tagging along. Why would today be different?” There was that word again.
Keegan shrugged in his periphery. “Just is.”
Owen weighed how much to say. He’d worked hard to build trust with Keegan, and it would be disingenuous to discount his feelings, not to mention detrimental to his recovery. Yes, he was distracted, and yes, Tyler was the cause, but it had nothing to do with his absence. Owen hadn’t been able to stop thinking about their upcoming trip to Texas. Tyler had cleared the time off with Finley early Sunday morning, and his mom purchased their plane tickets that afternoon. The appropriate thing would’ve been for Owen to reciprocate with an offer to introduce Tyler to his mother, but he hadn’t, and he needed to figure out why.
“Maybe I’m moping a little,” Owen admitted. “We got busted stealing kisses in the stockroom today, and Finley separated us like naughty kids. Kieran had to babysit me all day, and Tyler tagged along with Finley. They’re picking up a new foster horse right now, or Tyler would’ve come with us.”
Maybe the separation was for the best. Owen needed to work through some things, and Tyler’s presence was the most beautiful distraction he’d ever known. He’d been delaying and deflecting several things lately, and it would only come back to bite him in the ass.
Keegan snorted before giving in to a fit of laughter, and Owen was glad he’d diverted the conversation. “I’m really happy for you and Tyler. I want to have a relationship like yours someday.”
“I want that for you too, Kee. I believe you’ll have it as long as you put in the work with your therapist.”
Keegan groaned, and Owen could picture the dramatic eye roll that accompanied it. More and more of Keegan’s vibrant personality showed with each positive step forward. “Oh my god. You sound just like Bryant.” Keegan sighed heavily when Owen stopped outside the therapist’s office. He removed his seat belt and looked at Owen. “I think he’s right about you. As good as you are with skittish horses, you’re even better with wounded people.” He opened the door and hopped down from the tall truck before Owen could correct him.
Keegan meant the remark as a compliment and didn’t know the negative spiral it would trigger. First, there was the assumption that Owen’s current situation wasn’t good enough. He earned a good salary by doing something he loved. Every job had shit to shovel, but he could wash the muck off his boots and go about his day. It was the figurative shit that stained a person’s soul. Even if Owen wanted to aspire to more, he lacked the intelligence to pull it off. That reminder took him back to the days in school, where he tried so hard to read and comprehend the words in front of him, but the letters never made sense. Many of his teachers accused him of not caring or not trying hard enough. They took in his unkempt appearance and made a bunch of assumptions about his character.
And those thoughts reminded him of his chaotic home life, which brought Owen full circle. Introducing Tyler to his mother should be the next step, but he struggled to take it. Did he still harbor resentment toward her, or was the resistance more about his failings? Maybe he was simply afraid to let Tyler peek behind the curtain to see where he came from. Owen had always skirted around sensitive subjects about his past, and Ty never pushed him. Yet, Tyler was prepared to permanently cut ties with his family if they didn’t accept Owen into the fold. Was that fair? Owen puffed up his cheeks and exhaled long and slow. Hell no, it wasn’t. He wanted to be the man who deserved Tyler’s love and devotion, which meant he had to peel back the scabs to air out his old wounds.
Before he could talk himself out of it, Owen called his mom. She answered on the second ring, sounding breathless.
“Did I catch you at a bad time?” he asked.
“There’s never a bad time for you to call.” Owen heard the smile in her voice. “The elevator is out in the building again, so I had to walk up several flights of stairs with my groceries. At least it will help keep me in shape.”
Maggie Rose—she’d returned to her maiden name after she’d sworn off marriage—was in phenomenal shape, but she’d mentioned elderly neighbors in her building several times during their conversations.
“How long has the elevator been out?” Owen asked. “Do you want me to call the property manager for you?”
She laughed softly. “I can hear the scowl in your voice, and you’ll end up with premature wrinkles. And I appreciate your offer, but I’ve already knocked on Dudley’s door. The elevator repairman will be here soon.”
“I’m proud of you, Mom.”
“I just did what anyone else would in the situation.” She was as bad at accepting praise as he was.
“Did you ask him to define soon?” Owen asked.
“Sure did. The tech is supposed to be here within the next two hours.”
“Good.”
She’d said the elevator was out again, which implied a continuous issue. But before Owen could press her on it, she said, “Enough about building maintenance. What’s going on with you?”
He rested easier at night, thinking his mother lived in a safe environment. A visit home would kill two birds with one stone. Owen could introduce Tyler to his mother and ensure the new place was up to his standards. But when? Did he strike first and make the trip before they left for Texas? That would give Tyler a chance to change his mind about them before he came out to his family. The thought soured Owen’s stomach. How could he think so little of Tyler’s devotion? He needed to readjust his thinking before he screwed up everything. The trip to his hometown wouldn’t be a test; it was Owen’s opportunity to bare everything to the man he loved.
“Could I bring Tyler to meet you?”
His mom sucked in a sharp breath. “Seriously? I don’t know what I’m most excited about, Owen. Seeing you after so long or finally meeting Tyler. Does this mean you’re dating?” She was the only person he’d talked to about his true feelings for Ty.
Owen’s mouth curved into a broad smile. “Yeah. It’s a recent thing, though.”