Page 10 of In Service to the Duke

“True. Poor thing probably thinks you’re an ogre, or worse.”

Irritation rushes down my spine, making me sit ramrod. “How is her lack of awareness my fault?”

“I heard your bellowing all the way in here. You think she wouldn’t be frightened of you after a fit like that?”

“She nearly died,” I roar, standing so I can pace the floor.

Glancing over, I note an odd expression on my mother’s lips, as if she’s trying to stifle a smile and failing. But that cannot be the case. Nothing about this is a humorous matter.

“And yet, based on your irritation, she seems very much alive.”

“You continue to miss the point. I cannot have someone so reckless be under the protection of this house.”

“You mean under your protection? Let’s be honest, my dearest Robert, you do so take your occupation of being duke rather seriously.”

I sit beside her once more. “And should I not? Should I be lackadaisical about the whole affair? It’s good I show such discipline.”

With a sigh, she brings her cup to her lips. “You are right, my son. As always.”

“Good. Then I will have her pack her things and be ready to leave by this afternoon.”

My mother dissolves into a fit of coughing. The wretched sound drips like ice through my veins as I watch her cover her mouth with a handkerchief. After several agonizing moments, she leans back, her breathing shallow as she rests a hand over her heart.

“She’s such a good girl. Having her here does my heart good. Could you not reconsider and allow her to stay? Even if to humor an old woman not too far from leaving this world?”

My heart clenches at her words. Tsking softly, I gather her hand in mine and kiss the weathered skin. “If it will ease your mind and heart, then she may stay.” As loathe as I am to give in and keep this new temptation by my side, I cannot risk harm befalling my mother.

“Oh, bless you, my dear Robert,” she cries, beaming up at me.

Guilt and remorse slam into me as I take in her happiness.

With a sigh, I shake my head, defeated, as I rise. “I shall go and prepare for breakfast.”

As I turn to leave, she calls out to me. “Oh, and Robert. If she really is that inexorable, I will give her a stern talking to. That is, if you have need of my services.” Again, she coughs, a thin, rattling, wheezing sound which goes straight through me, causing me to shiver.

I cannot burden her with this. It’s bad enough I’ve caused my mother discomfort over someone she clearly regards as a friend. I suppose that means it’s up to me to keep her in line. Quietly, Of course,.

A smile curves my lips as I give my mother another nod. “There will be no need. I’m sure situations such as this morning will be few and far between. If she is as immaculate in affairs as you claim, then she and I will have no quarrel.”

My mother’s lips tilt in a soft smile. For a moment, I see that old glimmer of life that used to infuse her very breath. For her sake, I’ll be the one to make sure her peace is never disturbed. If I have to crop that flighty governess daily until she falls in line with how things are supposed to occur in this manner, I’ll do so.

I leave the room and close the door behind me. Resting my head against the wood, I stifle the oaths lingering on my tongue. In not so many words, Mother, in her naivety, has just allowed the wolf unfettered access to his lamb. By forcing my hand and allowing this chit to stay, she may very well have spelled out her ruin.

Thankfully, I’m far too disciplined to allow myself to go so far as to be cast under this woman’s spell. I’ll discipline her, take her in hand, and help mold her into a far better governess than she could have been in some other household. But this is as far as I’ll go.

God help me. It’s as far as I can allow myself to go.

CHAPTER 5

EMMA

Heat continues to spread across my face as I race down the hall, twisting and turning until I get to my room. Thankfully, the girls are no longer next door, and are, instead, merrily enjoying their breakfast. I should be as well, but I cannot stop my heart from wanting to fly out of my chest.

For me to dine with them as such will be sure to draw up a line of inquiry I have no desire to answer. Pacing the room, I fan my face in an attempt to draw the red away, but it’s still there. Every time I pass the mirror, I see the bright spots on my cheek clear as day.

Anyone seeing me will know I harbor some scandalous secret. Striding over to the basin, I submerge a piece of cloth and dab the damp rag against my cheeks and neck. Though it helps in some ways, it does nothing for the throbbing ache between my thighs.

Sinking down onto a nearby chair, I place my hand over my heart as I will my breathing to slow. But every time I picture Blackport’s fierce eyes as he dipped below, angling himself between my thighs, it picks up speed again until I fear I might faint. Perhaps I should go fetch the doctor after all.