Page 80 of Experiments in Offline Dating

Uncontrollable variable: my frugal logic could not abide the purchase of a sleep apnea machine “just in case.”

Tadhg smirked. “Wow. My dad really knows your type.”

The lulling monotony of the lunch conversation had calmed me right down, and I didn’t overthink my inclination to joke back. “You think so? I tend to like them a little older. You know, someone who takes his dentures out nice and slow, for sexy foreplay. But this one really got my heart racing when he leaned in close and whispered sweet nothings over his soup.”

Tadhg grinned. His eyes crinkled. My rib cage was suddenly too tight. “Yeah? Cheeky old sod. What did he say?”

“He said: ‘Shingles lives in all of us. Make sure you get vaccinated.’”

“He didn’t!”

“Sure did.”

He actually laughed at that. It was a low, chesty rumble that made my toes curl. Danger! my mind screamed. Danger! What was this? Who was this? This man, who had done little else than glower like it was his literal full-time job and he was never on break, was laughing. With me. This was uncharted territory.

My body grew hot. Was this flirting? What the hell was even happening anymore? My hands got clammy and sweaty. Animosity I could handle. Flirting I could not. Especially when I couldn’t fucking tell if it even was flirting or not! Especially when the man in question looked like he’d walked straight out of a Hot Farmers calendar. Especially when all I could think about was the look he’d given me when his mouth was between my legs and he’d moaned into me.

He nodded. “Should we go have a look at the view?”

“Together?” I asked like a complete freaking idiot.

He looked at me sideways like I was a complete freaking idiot. Dammit! “Yep. Together. If you think you can control yourself, Davis.”

My eyes went wide. Holy fuck-a-thon! Can he read my mind? One corner of his mouth ticked up. I needed air. I couldn’t breathe.

“Ha! You mean? Like I would . . . How would I? Nope! That was a onetime . . . Ha ha! You’re so funny.”

He squinted at me again in another look I couldn’t quite read. “Come on, you.” He started out, and I followed him without another word. We didn’t go far. Right near the road, several massive boulders jutted out over the valley, which fell away in dramatic shades of green velvet and gorgeous blue water. Birds and insects called, and the breeze blew up from below to toss my hair. I stared out and was grateful for an excuse to shut up.

“So, we can sit on this rock in the middle here, or we can go down and sit on the edge there. It’s not as scary as the cliffs, and the slope is gradual, so it’s not dangerous. What do you think?”

“Um. Sure. Okay.”

I started walking toward the edge of the boulder, but as I looked out over the valley, my heart kicked up. Tadhg was watching me closely. “You all right?”

“Yep.” My voice was a little too sharp.

“Want to sit?”

“Yep.” But I hadn’t really thought it through. Because next, Tadhg grabbed my hand, in that way he seemed to do as if it were nothing at all, and my soft hand met his callused one, and my heart started thudding all the faster. I lowered down onto the boulder as he held my hand tight, and then he sat down next to me.

We swung our feet off the edge, but he was right, it wasn’t like the cliffs. While the valley was far below, from here the mountain sloped away in a rocky incline, and if we’d fallen, it would have been only a few feet.

Goddammit, this is romantic! I noticed that my hand was still in his. The wind blew and ran its fingers through our hair, the view was a painting, and I was sitting there holding his hand like a damn teen at prom.

I pulled my hand back. Crap! Make it normal! I sneezed an obviously fake sneeze into my stolen hand, then dug around for my water bottle.

“How are you feeling?”

“Very confused. A bit turned on,” I blurted.

He barked out a laugh. It was a new laugh, this one, to add to his repertoire of two. “I meant about the heights.”

“Oh, that. Yeah! God, stupid answer. Heights. You know, it’s. A little nervous, I guess, but not bad. Feels kinda nice, actually. Like anxious little champagne bubbles.”

His eyebrows lifted, the opposite of what they were wont to do, and he smiled down at me for such a long moment that I had to look away.

“You . . . all right?” he asked.