Page 78 of Experiments in Offline Dating

“You’re no spring chicken,” she huffed, and I ignored her, turning away to hide my grin.

“So, Davey.” Perhaps all he needed was a little nudge out of his shell after being mother smothered his whole life. “What sort of things do you like to do?”

He looked at me with a curled lip, but it wasn’t a smile. “Like to do?”

“You know, like with your spare time.”

“I watch a lot of YouTube. And I play Call of Duty.”

“How old are you, exactly?” Peggy squinted. The statement sounded more like a retaliatory comeback than a genuine question. “Jackie told us you were twenty-eight, but now that I see you in the light, I know that can’t be the case.”

“Twenty-eight? I’m thirty-eight.” I laughed. “Maybe you misunderstood?”

“Thirty-eight! Thirty-eight? Davey here is only thirty-five!”

“Well, three years isn’t a huge deal, surely?”

“He’s ready for children! Are you going to be able to give those to him?”

I couldn’t help it—my eyes shot to the stallion in question. He was on his phone, because why wouldn’t he be, and I thought of those hands on my breasts, trying to unbutton my jeans while his mom watched from the sidelines and shouted play-by-play commentary and demands for improvement.

“No way!” I laughed. It was out before I knew what I was going to say. Oh no.

She reeled back as if she’d been slapped. “Any woman would be lucky! Not that you would know, you’re so old and dried up. This date is over!”

I looked at Dave. He was still on his phone.

Conclusion: date unsuccessful.

Uncontrollable variable: extreme medical condition whereby the umbilical cord is still attached in adulthood.

Chapter 20 A Brief Experiment in Caution

They got the jaunting cart driver to take them right back to the parking lot so that Peggy could drive them “all that way back home for nothing.”

I couldn’t help but giggle to myself as I started the walk up to the waterfall alone.

I texted Tadhg:

Managed to destroy date in all-new record time! Come when ready. Walking to the falls.

The response was quick.

Even quicker than ours?

Much!

Shame. You three looked cute together.

Throuple made in heaven!

The falls were crowded with tourists, but they were beautiful just the same. I had a little hike farther up the mountain, to where lush trees shaded the trail in green, and found a spot to look out over the incredible vista with the lake across the way. The weather was gorgeous, all cloudless blue topaz and no sign of wind or rain, trying to pretend like yesterday’s storm never happened. It wasn’t the only one.

Like a crack of lightning, the memory that I’d been trying to suppress all morning burst free—his hands on my hips, the cold rain on my skin, tight nipples, the curse on his breath. My stomach swooped. I could try to forget all I wanted, but I remembered everything. My lady bits remembered every damn second of it, and they were suddenly reminding me that they would like a replay, thank you very much. And maybe again just after that for good measure. Sweet holy crap. What Pandora’s box had I opened? It isn’t Pandora’s box that’s the problem. I had to get a hold of myself.

I had a long trip in front of me, and a whole lot of time alone with Tadhg. There was no coming back from the sex we’d had. It was going to haunt my every waking moment for the next three weeks, at least, and probably many a sleeping moment as well, come to think of it.

I had already had a very confusing morning. Lust only made it worse. I gave myself a sound scolding as I walked back down the trail. My thighs ached in a deliciously lascivious sort of way, sore from having a broad man’s hips between them. I tried to shut the tingles down. This only made me focus in on the tingles more, which, as it turned out, was a disaster, because it meant that when said mound of muscle and animal attraction arrived to pick me up from a date with another man, my mouth literally watered at the sight of him.