Page 31 of Experiments in Offline Dating

“You too, Thomas. Look, I’m sorry, I don’t know why Tadhg roped you into this, but I can’t dance. I don’t know how.”

“That’s all right. Best time to learn.” I opened my mouth to apologize and excuse myself, but this was my side of the getting-out-of-the-date bargain. And his smile seemed warm. And I guessed I would have to learn to do this sooner or later. And it seemed that a nice older man who was already married was a safe choice.

It was live music tonight. A handsome youngish man on guitar and an older one on accordion. The accordion struck up a tune, and I made a decision. “I think I’d like that very much, thank you. My name is Maya. I hope I don’t slow you down too much.”

“You’ll be grand. This is a waltz here. Have you ever danced a waltz before?”

I bit my lip and scrunched my face up. “Um. I think they taught us at school when I was a kid.”

“Well then, you’ve got a head start, Maya. Come on, then, and we’ll refresh your memory.”

“Be careful with your toes.”

He laughed. I darted a look to the other side of the room. Arnold and Tadhg were in conversation. What was Tadhg saying? And how would Arnold respond to being ditched? But I didn’t have much time to think about it, because Thomas started moving me and counting the steps aloud. We took our first halting steps, and I was doing it, I was dancing. Then I stepped on his foot and looked down and bumped my head against his. I looked up and caught Tadhg looking over his shoulder. Of course. It had to be now, didn’t it, Tiger?

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry, Thomas. How embarrassing. Are you okay?”

“Sure, sure. Happens all the time. Don’t you worry.” He smiled but didn’t drop my hands or lose the beat, just kept me moving slow and easy across the dance floor, counting as we went—it was quite soothing, actually. I steadied my breathing and tried to focus on the steps. I wasn’t great at following, I knew. But then I closed my eyes and tried to just let him guide me.

“Good, Maya. Look at you. You’re a natural!”

I laughed and opened my eyes and immediately bumped into his chest. “Oops! I’m so sorry.”

When I looked up again, both Arnold and Tadhg were gone.

The dancing was lovely, come to find out! I danced two more waltzes, with two other older gentlemen, and had a great time. Then, high on my own natural talent, I accepted an offer to dance something that was not a waltz, and it was a calamity, with casualties that would probably attract national news coverage.

Finally, Jackie and I found each other.

“All right, Maya? You look like you’re having fun. How’s your date with Arnold going?”

“New rule, Jackie. No racists.”

Chapter 8 An Experiment in Being Utterly Charmed, So Much So, in Fact, That You Don’t See Trouble Coming for You Until It’s Far, Far Too Late

The phone rang. I woke up as if I had been electrocuted, and I then proceeded to literally fall out of bed trying to find my phone. Mom? Dad? Someone is dead!

Turned out falling on the floor wasn’t too terrible a turn of events, as I had to crawl under the bed to chase the phone that I’d knocked off the bedside table in the dark.

“Hello?” My voice was desperate, pained. “What’s wrong!”

“Is that Mary?”

This . . . No. I blinked. Incredulous. The blink of a woman who was suddenly realizing that she was capable of murder.

“Hello? Mary? I got your number from Jackie.”

You have got to be kidding me!

I crawled back into bed, rubbed the sleep from my eyes, and groaned, right there into the phone.

“No. This isn’t Mary. This is Maya. Perhaps you’ve called the wrong number.”

“I don’t think so. This is the American girl looking for a husband, right?”

“Woman.”

“Eh?”