Page 76 of Rush

“Yeah.” He sighs. “He wasn’t always a drinker. Once upon a time, he was a decent dad. Yeah, he liked to have a drink, like the next person. Then, my mom got cancer. After she died, his drinking intensified. He just gave up. So, it was down to Zeus and me to keep things together. Zeus boxed and worked a factory job to earn money. I took care of Lo and Missy. And cleaned up after my dad. It was Zeus who put me through college.”

“God, I’m so sorry, Ares.”

I press my hand to his cheek. He takes hold of it and turns his face into my palm, pressing a kiss there.

But he doesn’t let go of my hand; he holds it in his, resting it on his chest.

“I hated him for a long time. I guess, in a way, part of me still does. I resent him. My relationship with him is…difficult. I don’t trust him. And I don’t forgive him for letting us down when we needed him most.”

“Which is why you don’t trust drunks.”

His eyes come to mine. “I trust you.”

My heart swells to the size of Texas.

“You told me the truth when it mattered, Ari. I know how hard that was for you to come to me and tell me that you’d gone to that bar. My dad…he never would have done that. It was lie after lie with him. That’s why it’s so important to me that you’re always truthful with me.”

“Even if it’s something you won’t want to hear, I’ll always tell you the truth.” I press a kiss to his knuckles.

“But, yeah, so because of my shit with my dad…I took offense with you.”

“I understand that.”

“But that doesn’t make it right. I projected my bullshit with him onto you. It was wrong of me. And I guess…because I wanted you so badly, but I couldn’t have you…it made me angrier.”

Knowing that he wanted me for all that time, it’s crazy.

“Then, after the shit with your dipshit ex, I felt…protective over you. And the more time we spent together, the harder it was to lie to myself. And then, when I saw Luke here…and I thought maybe…” He shakes his head. “I’ve never felt anything like it, Ari. Jealousy, rage. And I don’t get jealous. I’m not that guy. Well, I didn’t think I was…until then. And that’s when I had to stop lying to myself and admit the truth. I was fucking gone for you.”

My heart skips some seriously happy beats. “If I hadn’t come to see you that day, what do you think would’ve happened?”

“Honestly? I don’t know. I’m a stubborn bastard. I would have brooded for days about it. Probably been an asshole to everyone. Missy would’ve given me shit about being an ass and called Zeus, and he would’ve come and gotten the truth out of me and talked sense into me. Then, I’d have come crawling to your door.”

I chuckle. “Zeus sounds like a smart guy.”

“I wouldn’t go that far.” He laughs. “But he’s a great fucking brother.”

“You’re lucky to have them, as they are you. I always wanted siblings, but…” I trail off.

He moves down the bed, rolling onto his side, putting us face-to-face. “Tell me to mind my own business…but where’s your mom? Coach keeps his personal life pretty private. I honestly didn’t know he had a daughter until the crash happened.”

I laugh, and it’s not humorous. “I’m not surprised. My dad’s not one to talk about his family. Or, well…me.” I rub a hand over my face. “Full disclosure?”

“Of course.”

“My mom is dead. She, um…took her own life. I found her.”

“Jesus, Ari.” He presses his hand to my cheek, thumb brushing along my cheekbone. “I’m sorry that happened…to you.”

“She was sick for as long as I could remember…bipolar disorder. My dad couldn’t handle it, so he wasn’t around much. So, it was mostly me and her. When she was up, it was great. But, when she was down…it was hard.

“I’d been studying for a test at a friend’s the night I found her. Dad was away at a game. She was hanging in their closet.”

He sucks in a breath, and I close my eyes, hating that I can still see the image of her there.

“That’s when you started drinking.”

Nodding, I swallow. “I had my first drink before her funeral. It made things easier, you know.” I blink open my eyes, and the look in his nearly slays me. He cares about me. Really cares. “And, after she was gone, Dad was still never home, and I was alone…and sad…and alcohol helped. I didn’t realize that I actually had a problem until the accident. So, yeah…”