Page 47 of Unsuitable

It’s just what I needed to ease my nerves and lift my spirits a little.

“Come in,” he tells me.

I step inside. Tim closes the door behind me.

It’s quiet in the house, and I wonder where the rest of the boys who live here are.

As if reading my mind, Tim says, “The house is empty—aside from Jesse, of course. The boys have gone out for ice cream with Jenna, who works here with me,” he explains. “We thought it’d be nice to give you and Jesse some space.”

“Thank you.” I smile, but it feels awkward and clumsy on my lips. My hands are shaking. My head feels like it’s about to explode. I bind my hands together in front of me, trying to ease the trembling.

“Jesse’s just in the living room.”

“Okay. Thanks.”

“You can breathe.” He gives me a gentle smile.

I laugh softly, exhaling.

“I know how nervous you must be feeling right now. But, trust me when I say, it’s going to be okay. Jesse will never admit this, but he’s just as nervous to see you.”

“He is?” I hate to think that Jesse is feeling nervous, but knowing that I’m not alone in this and that he does actually want to see me helps.

“Don’t tell him I told you this, but he was up at six thirty this morning. He showered and is wearing his nicest clothes. For a kid who I have to put a bomb under to get him out of bed for school every morning and practically hose him down in the garden to get him to wash…well, it says a lot.”

“Yeah.” I smile, but his words also hit me. Telling me just how much Jesse has changed.

The Jesse I knew was always up and out of bed early. And he loved taking baths.

I’ve missed so many changes in his life.

Tim walks down the short hallway. Stopping at a door, he opens it. “Jesse…Daisy’s here.”

I follow inside behind Tim.

And there he is, the sole reason I get out of bed every morning.

Love floods me. Tears prick my eyes. I feel like I’ve been smothered in happiness and punched in the chest with a fistful of pain, all at the same time.

The boy I knew looks like a young man. Even sitting, I can see how tall he is. His legs are so long. And he looks so much like Dad. He must have grown about two feet in the last eighteen months.

His hair is different. He always liked to wear his hair short. But, now, his dark brown hair is all grown out, curling around his ears. His jeans are black with a chain fixed on the pocket, linking to his belt that has a skull on the front of it. His T-shirt is black with a band on the front that I’m not familiar with. He looks a world away from the boy I left.

And the way he’s looking at me…

It’s the exact same way he looked at me the last time I saw him.

Hurt mixed with disappointment. And loss. So much loss.

Pain curls like a fist around my heart and squeezes tight.

Jesse sits forward in his seat, his eyes never leaving mine.

“Hi,” I say softly, my voice not offering much.

He stares blankly at me.

“Why don’t you sit down? I’ll make us a drink. Tea or coffee? Or something cold?” Tim asks me.