Page 83 of River Wild

Okay, this is it. Get your ass inside, River.

But I don’t move.

Because I’m a chickenshit.

I’m fucking nervous, okay?

I’ve never been to a party before. All the kids in school hate me. I honestly don’t know why Chloe wants to be with me.

But I do want to lose my virginity, and she’s the first girl who’s shown a keen interest in making that happen.

Of course, I’ve hit first and second base with other girls.

We get a lot of tourists around here. Girls who know nothing about my past. Girls who wanna mess around with a local to pass the time.

But this is Chloe, and she knows who I am, yet she still seems to want me.

Come on, River. Man the fuck up and get yourself in there. You look like the freak they accuse you of being, standing out here on the doorstep.

I take hold of the door handle, turn it, and push open the door. The music is even louder in here. The party is in full swing. The house is packed with bodies.

No one even registers my appearance.

I’ve barely gotten three steps inside when Chloe appears in front of me. Her eyes are bright, cheeks flushed.

“You came!” She smiles up at me.

“Yep,” I say. Full of words tonight I am.

“You want to mingle or,” she reaches up on her tiptoes and speaks into my ear, “go upstairs for some privacy?”

I turn my eyes to hers. “Upstairs.”

She grabs my hand and leads me past people and up the winding staircase to the second floor. I follow her down the hall and into what I’m guessing is her room. It’s pink with a big four-poster bed, and there are pictures tacked to the walls—of her and her friends and still some of Brad.

She goes and sits on the edge of her bed. Then, she pats the spot beside her.

That’s her bed.

Her bed.

My insides start to tremble. Queasiness eddies in my stomach.

Not now. For fuck’s sake.

Pull yourself together, River.

Clenching my hands, I go over and sit down beside her.

“Your house is nice,” I say, just for something to say.

“Yeah, it’s okay, I guess.”

I’m staring ahead at the wall in front of me like it has the answer to the meaning of life. My leg starts to jig with nerves.

“River?”

“Yeah?”