Page 81 of River Wild

“Liar.” Spittle hit my face. His other hand grabbed hold of my hair, yanking it tight, making my eyes water. “You were arranging to meet him, weren’t you? You want to fuck him, don’t you?”

“N-no. P-please, Neil.”

“You’re a lying, dirty whore! Well, if you want to be a fucking whore, then I’ll treat you like one!”

I step back, shaking off the memory. My hands are trembling. I wrap my arms around myself, forcing strength into my spine. “I won’t do that.”

“Then, you’re a fucking idiot. Brad is not someone you want to spend your time with.”

“Funny. Because he just said the same thing about you,” I say the words and immediately regret them when I see hurt flicker over his countenance. So brief that, if I hadn’t been looking right at him, I would’ve missed it.

“He’s right. I’m not someone you want to be around.” His voice is filled with self-loathing, and that makes me sadder than I can explain.

“So, what are you telling me?” Melancholy starts to creep in around my heart because I already know what he’s saying.

Hard, emotionless, defiant eyes stare back at me.“I’m telling you what you already know. We’re not friends. We’ll never be friends. So, stop fucking trying to push something that will never happen. I barely like you on a good day. I just fucking tolerate you because of the way you wander around, looking like a lost, lonely sheep. You just don’t seem to get that you’re not wanted.”

I know his words are meant to wound and hurt. He’s lashing out because he’s pushing me away. But I won’t be spoken to like this. I deserve better.

I lift my chin even though, inside, I feel gutted. “I get it,” I say in a steady voice.

“Fucking finally.”

“Okay”—I take a step back—“I guess I’ll go. Have a nice life or not …”

Biting my trembling lip, I ignore the sting of tears I feel and turn and walk back out of the trees and into the light of people, leaving River standing there, alone in the darkness.