Page 10 of Violent Pawn

Glancing between us, Elio sighs and crosses his arms.

The end of Elio’s story brings a few different emotions.

Elio himself slumps like he’s gone fifty years without rest.

Zeno launches into a fit, flips the table, and rage-plans his revenge.

And me…I stumble from the room, already feeling intoxicated, and I haven’t touched a drink.

Yet.

This feeling must go away—be numbed into non-existence. I need to burn away the bile and for a substance to wipe the thoughts from my mind before it all goes to hell.

Giovanni Mancini’s death might be my fault.

My fault.

I was meant to kidnap Anastasia Petrov, and had I done so, the Bratva would have been distracted with getting her back. I failed, and they were able to move in and murder our Capo—my best friend’s padre.

In a way, I caused his death.

I stumble into the direction of the kitchen, needing to blur these thoughts. Wanting them gone so I can be the friend Zeno requires. I yank out the first bottle of liquor my hand touches, not bothering to check the label before twisting the lid off.

One drink to change my thoughts—my realization—then I can be there for Zeno.

Elio enters the kitchen, then stomps right up to the counter and covers the bottle’s mouth to prevent me from drinking. “Giovanni mentioned only this morning he sent you on a mission. What was it?”

“Shouldn’t you know?” I glare, jerking the bottle away from him.

“He refused to tell me. Said he didn’t want to curse it. Where the fuck were you?”

Shrugging, I say, “He sent me to Poland to kidnap a girl connected to the Bratva. Guess it’s pointless now.”

Elio’s gaze shifts to the corner before he shoves off the counter and disappears down the hall. A moment later, the front doors slam closed, so I return to my bottle.

The first sip burns my throat, making me cough. The second is chased with guilt.

The third…the third turns into a fourth, a fifth, a sixth.

Zeno lost his father because of my actions.

That isn’t a thought anyone can live with.

The next day passes in a blur. Zeno’s rampage takes him all over the house, shifting between two of the five stages of grief: anger and sadness. Gabriella took Serafina home to Ostia to shield her from Zeno’s ever-changing emotions. Elio’s trying to keep him together until they meet with the Commission, where he’ll be granted permission to become Capo.

Meanwhile, last night I discovered the bottom of that bottle I began. Hence the blur of today as I’ve been rocking a hangover for the morning, and another bender in the afternoon.

All of this is my fault.

Zeno must know. As the next Capo, he has to understand why I’m not worthy to become his second.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow I’ll tell him.

Tomorrow turns into the next day.

Another bottle emptied.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow I’ll tell him.