Page 86 of Check You Out

I shrug. “It worked with Charlotte. Except with tea. I brought her tea.”

The slight smile widens. He gestures in a way that refers to Charlotte and me. “Are you two “together” or is it “dating”?” He lets out a breath. “I don’t know these new-fangled relationship terms. Last winter, I asked my paralegal about his new girlfriend, since he brought her to the firm’s Christmas party. I was just trying to be polite. He lectured me about situationships and sneaky links.” He shakes his head. “I still don’t understand it.”

I chuckle. “Charlotte is my girlfriend,” I say in the most even toned voice I possibly can. It’s still hard for me to say my girlfriend without giggling with glee. “I don’t understand the new dating terms either.”

“I’m happy for you,” Dan says. “She seems very nice.” He nods absentmindedly, and we fall into an uncomfortable silence.

I drop my head and press my lips together. “Sorry, I’m not used to this, this whole being friendly thing.” I take a shaky breath into my lungs.

A corner of his mouth upturns and a little huff escapes through his nose. “Neither am I, but I think we’ve been doing okay these last few weeks.”

I nod, my head bobbing multiple times. “Yeah, we have. Thank you again for looking into that conflict-of-interest thing. I have no idea what’s going to happen with that, but I sleep better at night knowing that we at least did the right thing.”

The huff evolves into a chuckle. “I was more than happy to help. I’d do anything for you, Aidan.” I wonder if he wants to say more, but he doesn’t add anything more.

“Can you help me commit tax evasion?” I ask with a smirk.

He jabs a finger at me. “Except that.” His forlorn face melts into a smile. “But there’s pretty much nothing else that I won’t do for you.” He sucks in air through his teeth. “Maybe not murder, or another violent crime, or really any crime. But there’s a lot I would do for you.” He lets air out of his mouth in a sigh. “I know it took thirty-two years to tell you that, and you might not trust it. If it’s ok with you, I’d like to continue meeting up. For coffee, or more than coffee. Maybe we could try that bar across the way.”

I run a hand through my hair. My mind goes back to Charlotte. To her kind and open smile. To how she’s pushed me to expand out of my comfort zone, while simultaneously becoming a new comfort zone.

“I’d like that too,” I finally say. “Maybe I could invite Charlotte to our family dinners?”

He nods and the slight smile broadens. “That would be great.” He presses his lips together into a smile.

“Can I ask one thing?” I say, my chest tightens with anxiety.

I smother it. “Why were you always so critical of me? Why was it that I could never please you?”

He shoves his hands in his pockets and lowers his gaze to his feet. After a few seconds, he shrugs. “That’s something that I’ve been talking about with my therapist, and I’m still figuring it out. It’s what your grandfather did to me, and I think I started because I felt like it was expected of me. I thought that was what it took to be a father.” He lifts his head and meets my stare. “Maybe it was because I’ve felt like a failure much of my life, and I didn’t want you to fail.”

I peer at him. “How long have you been in therapy? Because this sounds like you’ve been in sessions a lot longer than a few months.”

Dan blows air through his slightly parted mouth in a throaty sigh. “A little over a year. Stella broke up with me a long time ago. Longer than I let on.”

“Why didn’t you say anything at our family dinners?” I ask him incredulously.

“Because I wanted to work on myself before I approached you about fixing our relationship.” He shakes his head and a lock of hair falls over his forehead. I wonder if my hair does the same. He pushes it back with his hand. “My therapist said that if there was any hope of us repairing our relationship, I needed to fix myself first.”

“Hey, mine said the same thing,” I reply with a chuckle.

We stand there and smile at each other. I don’t know what else to say, and something tells me that Dan is feeling the same.

Finally, his gaze travels to the bookcase. “Mind if I buy a book?” he asks, and I grin.

We spend about ten minutes talking about the different books I’ve read and what he’s read and what he’s interested in reading. He purchases James by Everett Percival. We share a short, awkward, but solid hug, probably one of the first I’ve experienced from him in a long time.

As Dan places his hand on the door to leave, I impulsively blurt out, “Do you want to come to the Open Comment meeting tonight?”

“I don’t have any plans.” He turns to face me.

I nod, resolve flooding my chest. “It’ll be a bunch of boring local government stuff.” I let out a low laugh. “What am I saying? You’ll love that shit.”

“I will. Are you sure you want me there?”

I repress the urge to bring up those memories. “I’d love it if you came. I know Charlotte and the rest of the committee would appreciate it. Who knows, maybe one of the council members will recognize you from your government days and be swayed by your support.”

“I doubt it. I’ve been out of the game for a while.” Dan’s face turns contemplative. “But I’ll come.”