Page 82 of Their Ruthless Sadist

“No.” I stepped forward, needing to reassure him. “Not from you. From … the situation. I have to look at it objectively. Without emotion.” I dropped my eyes to his chest. “But that’s hard for me.”

This time when Case cupped my face, I leaned into his hand. I needed his touch. It grounded me in ways I’d never experienced before him.

“I’m not good at this,” I admitted. “I want to be, but I’m not.”

Some people had the ability to shut off their emotions when it came to sex. I wasn’t one of those people. While I tried to remain disconnected, to look at the situation with Zeke dispassionately, I found myself getting in deeper and deeper. When I looked at Zeke, I didn’t just see the hardened Sadist. I saw the man, and beneath that rough, intimidating exterior, Zeke Lautner was still just a man.

I was drawn to him, curious about what made him tick. Did I want more time with him? Yes. Did I want him to spend less time focusing on Case? No. I just needed to learn how to deal with it.

“Neither am I,” Case stated firmly. “Which is why I say we just go back to the apartment and forget all of it. We can even take a break from the club for a while.”

I huffed a laugh, but the pain that consumed me wasn’t funny in any way. “No, Case. That’s not fair to you or me, and it’s not fair … it’s not fair to Zeke. We agreed to see this through the same way he did. I get that he’s a badass, and he acts like nothing matters to him, but I know better. He needs as much from us as we need from him.”

And I was convinced of that. Otherwise, Zeke wouldn’t have invited us into his home. He certainly wasn’t the type of man who allowed people to see into his world. Not willingly.

Case didn’t respond. His light green eyes never wavered from my face. I could see his concern, but I could also see the hope. He didn’t want what he was offering. He didn’t want to go back to that apartment or anywhere, for that matter. Case needed what Zeke was giving him. It settled that wild part of him. And I honestly believed that Zeke needed it, too. He could tell us all day long that he wasn’t in it for friendship, but I didn’t believe that. Perhaps he wasn’t looking to fall in love, but at the very least, he needed us to see this through. Not to turn our backs on him.

“When he gets home tonight, I fully intend to apologize,” I told Case. “I’m gonna own up to my mistake and ask for his forgiveness.”

“You don’t have to do that.” Case’s tone was threaded with pain. “I want you to be happy. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

“I know that.” I pulled him into me. “And that’s all I ever wanted for you, too.”

I pressed my lips to his, sighing at the comfort I felt in his arms. This man made me feel things I’d never felt before. The same way Zeke made me feel things.

And yes, I was man enough to acknowledge that I was jealous of what I’d witnessed. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized I wasn’t simply jealous of the way Case opened up to Zeke. I was also jealous of the attachment Zeke seemed to form with him. I wanted that. For whatever reason, I wanted Zeke to want me the same way.

Perhaps it made me a glutton for punishment, or maybe it simply made me human. I didn’t know. However, it was the truth.

And the only way for us to move forward was for me to own up to what I did. To admit it to Zeke and promise to remember our original agreement going forward.

Whatever we were doing here—the three of us—it wasn’t time for it to end. I got the weird feeling there was a lot more in store for us. And I had to see it through.

Not just for Case and Zeke.

But also for myself.

CHAPTER 20

Zeke

I wasn’t one to hang around the office when I didn’t have things to do; however, I found myself not wanting to go back to my house, not wanting to face the cowboy or the pretty boy.

For the better part of the afternoon, I’d given a lot of thought to how I needed to handle the situation with them. I figured it would be in their best interest if I cut them loose now. The selfish side of me wanted to lock them up and keep them for a while longer. To indulge in what they were offering for as long as possible.

Except, I wasn’t a selfish man. I knew better than to encourage something that had no possibility of ending without a fallout. They were fun to play with, but like any toy, it was only a matter of time before I would discard them in lieu of something with more glitter and intrigue.

For the past four years, that was exactly what I’d done. I had indulged my desires. Sought the fuck toys who knew the score. I had kept my distance, and it was working for me. Or it had been. Until them. For whatever reason, I was drawn to them.

And damn Trent Ramsey for sticking his nose where it didn’t belong. He was the one who had set me on this path by putting the two of them in front of me. Before I’d found myself confronting them on Trent’s private jet, I had managed to keep my distance. The couple of times I’d seen the pretty boy at the club, I had forced myself to limit my interactions with him. Even the cowboy. While I wanted to beat on the pretty boy because that was what he wanted, the cowboy triggered a different desire in me. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but I couldn’t deny that I wasn’t ready for this to be over.

But, again, I wasn’t a selfish man. I had no right to keep them when I knew in the end it would all work out the same. They would go their own way, and I would be back to being alone. Stuck in my own private hell of solitude and destruction.

On the drive back to my place, I considered calling Jamie, seeing if she wanted to come over for dinner. With her there, I could make a clean break with my fuck toys. Let the cowboy and the pretty boy know that I had too many balls in the air to continue this. They would understand because they had to. I wouldn’t give them a choice.

Before I dialed my sister’s number, I remembered Langston mentioning she was going to the club with Greg tonight. If I called her now, she would think I was trying to get in the middle of that. And while I had no desire for her to go to the club, I wasn’t that much of an asshole. I’d set this thing in motion; the least I could do was see it through.

So, I kept my hands on the steering wheel and my eyes on the road. Tank sat in the back seat, sighing every so often. I wondered if he could sense my mood, the tension that had taken over my body. Maybe I could simply hide out in my gym for a while. I would tell the fuck toys they should pack up their things, and while they did that, I would work off some of this restless energy.