Page 142 of Their Ruthless Sadist

“By the time tenth grade rolled around, John and I had already started to experiment. We both knew what we wanted, but we were nervous about what it meant. He was the first guy I kissed, and I was his first as well. Like I said, we experimented and things progressed from there. It started out with kissing, groping, then hand jobs.

“That went on for a good six months. We were both nervous, not sure where to go from there. Then one day, while we were making out, things progressed to the point of no return. I ended up fucking him that day. In his bedroom while his parents were at work.

“I knew by then that I loved him. I wanted to spend every minute with him, so we did. Not only had we given each other our virginity, we were best friends. At the time, I couldn’t see spending my life without him in it.”

I took a moment, breathing through the familiar pain that still slammed me when I thought about all the things we’d done together, all the things we had planned to do after high school.

“Spring break of our junior year, John got sick. Really sick. His dad took him to the doctor, and shortly thereafter, he was diagnosed with leukemia. Evidently, it was advanced. The prognosis hadn’t been good, but his parents were determined to find him the best doctors in the world to make him better.”

Tears threatened as I remembered the day he came home from the doctor.

“Less than two weeks later, John was hospitalized, and it all went downhill from there. I spent every minute I could at the hospital with him and his parents. It was brutal for all of us, watching him slip away day after day. It seemed to take him so quickly. Too quickly. I thought for sure any minute someone would find a cure and he would be back home and we would be watching movies, playing video games, and sneaking kisses when no one was looking.”

A warm hand landed on my back, then another. I drew air into my lungs, grateful that I was still restrained. I wasn’t sure I could continue otherwise.

“John lived until two days after his seventeenth birthday. July sixteenth. It was the worst day of my life. I fell apart. Completely shredded by the loss. My parents tried to help, but there was nothing they could do to console me. I went over to see John’s parents a few times before they moved. According to Lee, John’s dad, they couldn’t bear to be in the house anymore, so they sold it and moved into an apartment in the city.

“I tried to move on with my life, but it wasn’t easy. And strangely, I missed spending time with his dad. Lee had been a connection to John that I hadn’t realized I needed.”

This was the hard part, so I took a moment, wanting to get through this without completely breaking down.

“Take your time,” Brax said softly, his hand sliding over my arm. “We’re here, baby.”

His sweet words nearly broke me, but I held back the sob and forced myself to continue.

“I think I was that for Lee, too. A connection to John. Someone who reminded him of his son. About three months after they moved, Lee called and asked me to come over to the apartment. I told him I would since I had a car at that point.”

I felt the warmth of Brax and Zeke behind me, so I kept going. I had never told anyone this story, and I needed to get it out.

“Lee seemed different when I showed up. Angrier than the man I remembered. When I got to his apartment, he admitted that his wife had left. Said she couldn’t come to terms with what had happened, so she thought it would be best if they separated. I felt bad for him, hating that he was alone. So, we started spending some time together. Nothing weird happened. We would watch television and talk. Mostly about John.

“That went on for about a month. I went to his apartment at least three times a week until one day he called and asked if he could pick me up, and I thought nothing of it. When we got back to his apartment, he was acting strange. I didn’t know what to make of it. That was the day my entire world changed.”

The memory rushed up on me, making me shake. I relayed the story as best I could, even as I relived it.

“I want to show you something,” Lee said when we entered the apartment.

I glanced around, noticing all the blinds were closed. It was odd. Lee always kept the blinds open. Being that he was on the eighteenth floor, there was no one who could see in anyway.

I followed Lee down the narrow hall. The apartment had two bedrooms, but one had been set up as Lee’s office. When he opened the door, I noticed that the desk and the computer were gone. In their place … the room was decorated exactly as John’s had been. Right down to the same comforter and the posters on the wall. It took me by surprise.

“Come in here,” Lee insisted. “I wanted you to be the first person to see it.”

“Why?” I asked. “Why’d you do this?”

The pain I’d seen so many times in Lee’s eyes was still there. “I need to feel close to John. I thought this would help.”

It felt the opposite to me. As though he wasn’t allowing himself time to grieve. I knew we would never forget John, but with every passing day, it got a little easier to breathe. Not anymore. The second I stepped into the room, it took me back to the last time I’d been in John’s room with him.

“I need your help, Case. I need you to do something for me.”

I looked at him, noticing the pain in his face. He looked so much older than he had before. His face had aged a decade in the short time John had been gone.

Wanting to do whatever I could to help ease him, I said, “Sure. Anything.”

“I want you to lie down on the bed.”

“What?” I shook my head. “I… That’s… I don’t think that’s a good idea.”