Page 70 of Only One Tour Bus

“We’ll stop here for five hours. That’s enough time for a nice lunch, and a bit of a sightseeing. I recommend getting some snacks for the rest of the ride, because after this stop, it’ll be a three-hour ride to Switzerland, and then a late dinner when we get to our lodge.”

She pauses, presumably to wait for their inane questions. When there are none—probably because they’re still half asleep—she continues.

“This city was first mentioned in 12 BCE as a Roman camp, but archaeological evidence indicates that it’s been inhabited since the Middle Paleolithic period.” She winks at me, and I glower back, not sure if she’s insulting me or genuinely trying to channel my history-rich tour style. Probably a bit of both; she can multitask.

“And the Romans built here because of its excellent geography. Strasbourg is situated on a river, great for agriculture and trade. The area, Alsace, was governed by some bishops, and then became independent. But then the French took them over, then they became German, then French, then German, then French again.” I count the times they’ve been conquered by the two nations along with her, but in my head. There’s been a lot of movement, but she got all the switches right.

She nods. “Yes, we’ve landed on French now. As you can imagine, this means that both countries have had influence over the culture, from food, to architecture, to the language.”

I see more people focused on Asha, having shaken the sleep out of their eyes. Now they’re on to the stretching portion of the wake-up process, but they’re still looking at her, so I hope they’re multitasking, too.

Because she tried very hard to make this one heavy on the history, and they should appreciate her efforts.

“If you’re looking for things to do, La Petite France is an area with storybook-magical, half-timbered medieval buildings and bright flowers, where aside from a visual feast, there’s a bunch of delicious restaurants, too. There’s the Cathedral, the Parc de l’Orangerie, and museums, including palaces. Food wise, you all should try a tarte flambée; it’s like a pizza and it’s delicious. And invented here. Callum has his list of things to do here and I can give personalized recommendations if you want when we get off the bus.”

I still think my way is better with less interaction, but the guests do appreciate her very specific recommendations. I could try that more, too. It would be nice to send people off on the specific history that they enjoy the most. For shopping people can stick to the lists, though.

“That’s it for now. We’re almost there. Oh, and the closest bathroom is a paid public restroom in the square, directly across from us when we stop to unload.” She winks at the bus. “I know it’s been a long ride.”

Asha turns the mic off and sits down next to me.

“I feel like we’re watching first years sometimes, with how focused we have to be on where the toilet and the nearest food are,” I whisper to her.

“They just want to be comfortable. Everyone needs to pee, Callum. There’s a book that tells us so. And sometimes it’s hard to find the closest bathroom.”

“Hmm. There was good historical substance to your speech on Strasbourg.”

“Why, thank you. I’m trying.”

“I don’t know who complained on you to start all this. Just because you run your tours a wee bit like recaps of The Real Housewives, well, history kind of is like a reality show. I personally wouldn’t present it like that, but it would be absurd to ignore the fact that Henry VIII had six wives and even more mistresses,” I say.

“He could single-handedly supply the entire cast for a season of The Real Housewives of the Tower of London. If he didn’t keep killing some of them off.”

“I’m sure he would appreciate the distinction.”

“He would just be happy we’re still talking about him. Arrogant, murdering bastard.”

“Fair play.”

We sit in silence while Laura maneuvers the behemoth bus through tiny medieval lanes with an expert precision that terrifies and impresses me. Asha is next to me studiously avoiding looking out the window, also not wanting to see how close we get to the buildings.

Then Laura stops and we’re both focusing on unloading the bus with speed, because we’re not exactly allowed to unload here, but the tour bus parking lot is too far for our short stop.

Finally, the chaos ends and we’re alone, the group off to their adventures. Not entirely alone, as we are in a busy European square, where tourists and locals alike are crowding the space.

“Do you want to grab something to eat?” Asha asks into the awkward silence.

CHAPTER 31

ASHA

I don’t know why I asked, or why I keep torturing myself with Callum. He had every opportunity to take me into one of our rooms last night and blow my back out, but he chose not to. And then the very next morning, he let me use him as a pillow, cutting off his precious blood flow so I could be comfortable.

Who does that? What is his thought process? Why is he so confusing?

But I might as well spend time with him instead of eating alone, when I’ll only be thinking about him anyway. Maybe he’ll let something slip and I’ll figure out why he can’t seem to make up his mind about whether he’s into me or not.

“Sure, I’d like to get something to eat with you. Let’s pick somewhere not on my lists, though.” He shakes the laminated papers he’s holding.