Page 65 of Only One Tour Bus

Callum snorts. “They were off their bloody tits the first night in Paris, even at the beginning of the night tour, and barely made it through without puking. I don’t think their livers care for them to have another night like that.”

“But they did make it through the walking tour.”

“There’s the Wee Sunshine.”

“There’s the Wee Rain Cloud.”

“We’re making that a thing, then?”

“Most definitely.”

Little does he know, I love the rain.

CHAPTER 28

CALLUM

Kevin approaches before I can respond to my new nickname. And I want to. Or at least I want to keep talking to Asha, about whatever she wants to talk about.

And Kevin is ruining that, so I glare at him despite it being my own invitation which led to this in the first place.

Asha sees the displeasure on my face, because she nudges me, a silent reminder to be nicer to the paying customers.

For her, I drop the scowl. But only so it’s a neutral expression. I’m not smiling at this man who is at best interrupting my already limited time with Asha and at worst, flirting with her.

“Hi,” Kevin says, standing in front of our table.

“Hi,” Asha says back with a smile, even though we’ve been with this eejit all day; there’s no need for the late-night greeting.

Kevin takes the smile as encouragement and sits down, which is exactly why I try to limit smiles, to the best of my ability. “This is such a cool job. How long have you been doing it?” he asks her, ignoring me completely.

“About five years,” she answers with a smile.

“How’d you get into it?” I cross my arms and lean back in my seat, tuning out the rest of Kevin’s inane questions, as he tries harder and harder to capture her attention with his increasingly desperate questions.

I should stop him. But then Asha will get mad at me for yelling at her tour babies again.

If I was going to give him some advice, I’d tell him to stop embarrassing himself. The absolute puppy-dog eyes every time he looks at Asha, like she invented water and whiskey and football, are a bit much.

So what if her smile can make a shite day better, and make all the annoying passengers fade into the background while we explore the world together? So what if that smile makes me forget anything but strategizing on how to see it again?

There’s no excuse for Kevin making a fool of himself. Like that would endear him to her; she would never fall for those pathetic attempts. She is a discerning woman who can see through his flash and lack of substance.

She’s only being nice to him because it’s her job, and he’s too thick to understand that. Embarrassing. I glare at him, hoping he gets the message.

But after two solid minutes of glare, I have to concede it’s not effective when he refuses to look away from Asha.

Then Thomas comes to see where his mate got off to. Thomas, unlike Kevin, does not find sobriety an important part of the seduction process, and he’s tried to drink all the wine in Paris in his attempt to soak up some French suaveness.

It hasn’t worked.

“Whass happ’nin’ ’ere?” He drunkenly collapses next to Kevin.

This is why I will stick to my families, established professionals, and retirees. Although I guess I won’t be if one of us is let go. I’ll either be taking on more tours like this or be out of a job completely.

Hmm. Both of those are less than ideal.

“We’re enjoying Paris!” Asha indicates the beautiful surroundings, but I’m not looking at the Art Nouveau decor.