Page 32 of Only One Tour Bus

“We’re going to order some food and then we’ll go back to our rooms,” Victoria says.

“But it’s late and I think the rules say you have to be with an adult or something. I’m not really up on the drinking rules here,” I say.

“Then it’s a good thing we’re with adults. Our very responsible tour leaders who are adults,” Jack says, smiling at us like what he said was reasonable.

“Who, us?” I look at Callum. I don’t know about him, but last time I was home I ordered takeout for an entire week because I was out of dish soap and therefore out of clean dishes, and that seemed easier than going out to buy some dish soap.

So I don’t think I’m winning any responsible awards.

The teens both nod and Callum looks as horrified as me to be a responsible party.

“I guess it would be fine if you were sitting with us. And then we can walk you back when you’re done eating.” It is better than letting them walk back in the middle of the night alone, right? I’m not a pushover; I’m protecting the youths.

I hover behind the children as they walk to the bar, when the bartender tells them the kitchen is closed.

“Oh no, foiled by the man! I’ll walk you back. We’ll stop at a chippy and get some fish and chips,” I say with more than a little relief.

“I’m coming with you,” Callum says from behind me. I jump in surprise. He was apparently hovering behind me while I was hovering over the children. But he was a lot better at it and I had no idea he was behind me.

“You don’t want to stay with the revelers? Maybe hit up the club with them?”

He doesn’t answer with words, instead stalking out of the building.

“You two follow him and I’ll say bye to the rest of the group.” Anything to escape being one on one with teenagers for a second. They’re terrifying and I know they can sense my terror.

I give the group recommendations for clubs to go to in Soho that I know well, and strict instructions on which tube route back to the hotel or which bus they need to take if they stay out past the time when the tube closes. I make them all take down the instructions in their phones before I leave, as well as the hotel address if they want to get a cab.

I’ve done all that I can.

Callum is standing to one side of the pub entrance, looking at our charges on the other side with a mix of irritation and maybe fear? I would never accuse someone like Callum, stoic except for irritation which he loves to show, of fear, but he looks unsettled by the situation.

I start the short walk to the hotel, stopping so the teens can get some food, the reason they were out in the first place. Allegedly.

“That ended better than it could have.” I lean closer to Callum’s ear and whisper the words when we get back to the block that the hotel is on. He’s so tall I’m whispering to his shoulder, but it’s a nice shoulder, so I can’t complain.

“Thank Christ for strict drinking laws.”

I laugh. “If my college roommate could see me agreeing with you, she would manifest all the irony into a physical form and beat me with it. In honor of all the underage drinking we did together.”

“Sure, there was some underage drinking. But I never put the fate of a poor, underpaid tour guide at stake for it.”

“Wait, the drinking age here is eighteen. Which makes your underage drinking significantly earlier than my underage drinking. So you really don’t have a leg to stand on with these infants.”

“You’re absolutely right.”

What? I do a double take to make sure I heard that right. Callum, agreeing with me? It must be so cold in hell right now. Are pigs going to fly by?

“I have no leg to stand on. You’re clearly the moral authority here and you should have full control over the children from here on out.”

Foiled! “No, wait. I take it back! Be a hypocrite! Help me!”

Callum turns around and winks at me, an actual smile on his face.

Oh. I stagger back a step at the unexpected development.

It’s nice. I’m still not taking responsibility for the two teens, but I could see more of this.

But will I ever get to see it again, is the real question.