Page 146 of Rookie Rules

"I am not ashamed of myself," Luca said. "Not for wanting you. Not for sleeping with you. Not for believing the way you saw me on the ice might mean you could see me everywhere else too."

His throat tightened. He let it. Dignity did not require pretending pain was absent.

"I will keep your privacy," he continued. "I will protect the room. I will play the system. But I will not keep auditioning for the right to exist when the door closes."

Rowan's face had gone still with the effort of holding everything inside it.

"So what happens now?" he asked.

"Now the rules have what they were built for. Nothing."

"You mean that?"

Luca nearly said no. The body was treacherous; it remembered Rowan's kitchen, Rowan's bed, the rough warmth of his voice against Luca's skin. It remembered safety before safety became a weapon.

"Yes," he said.

Rowan looked down at the painted line between the parking spaces.

"All right."

The same two words. A different surrender.

Luca picked up his gear bag from beside the car.

"At the rink," he said, "you are my captain. I will not make you guess whether I can do my job."

Rowan looked at him then. "Neither will I."

Luca believed him. Almost unbearable too.

They walked to the elevators separately. Rowan pressed the call button. Luca stood far enough away that their coats could not touch.

When the doors opened, equipment manager Cal Mercer was already inside with two sticks balanced against his shoulder.

"Morning," Cal said. "You two planning the whole game without us?"

"Just timing," Rowan answered.

Luca stepped in. "Apparently mine needs work."

Cal snorted. "Everyone's does before coffee."

The doors closed.

Rowan watched the numbers above them. Luca watched their reflections in the brushed metal: captain and rookie, shoulder to shoulder, composed enough to fool anyone who was not looking for the distance.

On the practice ice twenty minutes later, Rowan called the first line through a neutral-zone entry.

Luca received the pass on his backhand. Finn crossed high. The defense shifted toward the obvious lane.

Luca delayed.

Rowan arrived exactly where the opening would be.

The puck met his tape without either of them looking at the other.

Rowan shot. The net snapped.