Page 18 of Keeping it Local

I looked at him like he had punched me in the gut—like it was a sign from the universe that I had tried to push down again and again. “Yeah, it’s not like that.”

“Good to know.” He smiled at me, before following my gaze back to Beth.

I don’t know what came over me, but I felt this wave of jealousy, and for what? A look in her direction? I had no claim over her, and Ethan hadn’t done a damn thing. I wanted her, and even though it had bad idea written all over it, I couldn’t help my body’s response to her as I puffed up my chest.

My jaw clenched and flashed back to before I moved here. This is how it started before, but Beth wasn’t Anne—not even close—and I needed to snap out of it. Luckily, Ethan’s comment brought me back to reality.

“But yeah, for the auction, count us in. I was going to message Megan, anyway. You saved me an email.” He paused a moment, looking me up and down. “Hey, you two doing a tasting? I can grab you one if you want—on the house.”

I nodded and followed him over to the bar, bypassing the line that had formed. He quickly put together a tray for me to carry over.

“Good luck,” he said, nodding toward Beth in the distance and giving me a smile, like he knew something I didn’t.

I wasn’t used to feeling things for women, and Beth had me all out of sorts. For the last few years, the only women I had been with knew from the get-go exactly what it was—a short fling, vacation fun, or just someone to show them a good time. I hadn’t been with anyone more than a couple times since Anne. And when Ethan said wife, it had taken the wind out of me. As happy-go-lucky as I was most of the time, when someone mentioned marriage, or Anne, or anything related to my old life, sometimes I’d just shut down, trying to bury the pain of the past. It was easier to do that than deal with it.

As I walked up the hill to the willow Beth sat beneath, I tried to clear my head. I needed to turn fun Johnny back on, so I put the jovial smile back on my face—the one everyone knew me for—before taking a seat next to her and Oberon.

“Thank you! This is perfect,” Beth said, taking the tasting tree from me.

“Yeah, and we’re in luck,” I said. “Ethan gave it to us on the house.” I nudged her arm with mine. “Ladies first.”

“Ethan? You were able to talk with one of the brothers, then? I’m assuming he’s one of the brothers?” She gulped down half the glass before holding it in her lap, running her fingers slowly over the sweating globe. Her lip gloss had come off on the glass, and I had to bite the inside of my cheek from saying anything.

“Yeah, we’re all good. He was planning to talk with Megan about it, anyway.”

“Well, I guess we didn’t need to come out today,” she said. “This one was a lot easier than I thought.”

“But where else would we have been able to sit up against this giant tree and look over all the vineyards below? You need to get the full experience while you’re in town.” I sat my empty glass down when I was done.

“Very true.” She looked down. “Mary has been pestering me about making sure I’m enjoying things—not just working. I would say this counts.”

“It definitely counts.” My mouth curled up, watching her loosen up in front of me.

“It feels strange that the summer is already going by so quickly.” She had a glint in her eye.

“How do you feel about going back home?” I leaned back on my elbows into the soft grass. This was good. I needed to remind myself she was leaving, that she wasn’t a real possibility.

“It’s strange. On one hand, I’m anxious to get back and implement everything I’ve learned in my classes, and from Mary, for that matter, but on the other hand…” She trailed off.

“On the other hand?”

“On the other hand, it feels right to be here. I feel guilty for being here at all, and yet, I love it. It’s not even that far from home, but it’s so different. I love being close to the water. I’m enjoying it more than I thought I would. I’ve always wanted to own my own business, and being here is putting too many ideas in my head—ideas that don’t match up with what I have going on at home.”

“Nothing wrong with that. As someone who came here after living in the same place for a long time, I can relate.” I looked up at her watching me.

“Really?”

“Yeah, almost feels like I don’t deserve it sometimes. Like I shouldn’t have gotten the chance to be happy here.” I fought making eye contact with her and lost.

Her brown eyes locked with mine, and I could tell she was wrestling with something in her head, though I had no idea what it was. She licked her lips as she held my gaze.

“Exactly,” she said. “I’ve always been the one my parents rely on. Always been the one who smoothed things out—the extra set of hands. And now that I’m away, I’m realizing how much of my life I missed out on. I don’t regret staying and helping—not at all—but there is a sadness about what could have been, you know?”

I nodded at her, and we just sat there, neither of us saying anything. There was something special about this woman.

We finished up the tasting and walked back. I introduced her to Ethan, promising to meet up with him for a beer sometime. Most of the evening rush had left, and as we made it to my truck, I noticed that there weren’t any other cars around where we parked.

I went to her side first and opened her door for her. I stood there for a moment, and she did too. I expected her to jump up in her flowy dress, but she did something much more unexpected.