Page 85 of Blue Line

He pulls me close to him as he turns on the television that’s mounted on the opposite wall. He kisses the top of my head, and I melt into him. Shit, this is going to hurt when it all ends. I push that thought out of my head and force myself to focus on the movie he chose, another early two-thousands rom-com.

“Hey, you,” Callie answers the phone on the first ring the next afternoon.

I’m snuggled up on the couch while Wes is at the arena working out with a few of his teammates.

“Hey.”

“What’s wrong?”

I huff out a breath. “I went and fell for my fake fiancé. My brother’s best friend. Now I’m fucked. Literally and figuratively.”

“And why is that a bad thing?”

“Because,” I whine, “you know my track record. It’s only a matter of time before he ends it. This time, it isn’t like all the other times. I don’t know if my heart will survive.”

“Oh, Hadley,” Callie says softly. “Have you ever thought that maybe this feels different because it is different?”

“I don’t know if that’s possible.” I pick at the edge of the blanket.

“Why are you so jaded? Wait, no, don’t answer that. I know the answer. Better question is, why don’t you just enjoy the relationship? See what happens, where things go.”

I turn her words over in my head, trying to figure out how to explain what I feel. I finally settle on saying, “I don’t think I’m good enough for him. He can do so much better than me.”

“Hadley,” she chastises.

“No, seriously. He’s a professional hockey player. And I’m a nobody, an unemployed aspiring photographer.”

I bark out a laugh at the ridiculousness of us as a couple. What the hell am I thinking? He deserves so much better than me. How could I be so delusional to think we could be anything but fake? I pull the blanket over my head.

“Hadley Jane Abbott,” she snaps.

“What?”

“You’re being ridiculous. Do you hear yourself? Did you forget that your brother is a professional hockey player? What about the women married to the other players who you hang out with? Aren’t they as normal as you are?”

“They all have jobs.”

“Hadley. I love you, remember that.” She pauses, and I brace myself for what she’s going to say. “I think you’re trying to find reasons this can’t work out. Why?”

“I don’t know,” I say slowly. “It feels too good to be true. I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop. For him to realize he doesn’t like me as I am. Or that me being a photographer isn’t enough. Like all the rest of them.” The last part comes out in a whisper, and I blink back tears.

“I’m sorry you feel that way. I just don’t want you to ruin a good thing because you think it’s going to end.”

“I know. I know. You’re right,” I say, although I’m not sure that I’m entirely convinced. “Thanks, Cal. I’m scared.”

“I know. I get that. But he sounds like a great guy, unlike all the others you’ve dated. I think you should see what happens.”

“Okay,” I whisper after a few seconds of silence.

There’s noise in the background, and then she says, “I’m so sorry, but I’ve got to go deal with an issue.” She huffs out a sigh.

“I understand. Thanks for talking.”

“Of course. Love you, babe.”

“Love you too.”

I hang up the phone and lie on the couch, staring at the ceiling and thinking about what Callie said to me. She does know me better than anyone else, and she has a point.