Page 86 of The Accidental Innkeeper

I imagined smacking those red glasses right off her face.

We were absolutely having this conversation later.

But for now, the room was filling, glasses were clinking, and the inn was officially alive.

And whether I liked the table placement or not, Pearls & Pints had begun.

That’s when the kitchen doors swung open.

Dottie emerged like a woman unveiling a miracle. She held a massive platter at chest height, her chin lifted and shoulders back, absolutely glowing with pride. Her apron today was pale yellow with bold black letters that read: STIR UNTIL YOU FEEL BETTER.

The platter itself was… busy. Little golden rounds topped with something green and glossy. Mushrooms, obviously. But also something else. Something extra. Something I didn’t recognize.

“Ladies,” Dottie announced, projecting like she’d trained for this moment, “may I introduce the first course.”

The women leaned in as one, their pearls bobbing and bracelets chiming.

“What is it?” asked an overly tanned woman whose skin around her face looked like it would crack open if she smiled.

“My stuffed mushrooms,” answered Dottie, and I saw Helen stiffen. “And a little something I invented this afternoon.” She smiled. “I call it Phase One.”

Uh-oh. I felt my soul attempt to leave my body. “Dottie.”

She waved me off without looking. “Relax. It’s edible.”

I narrowed my eyes. “That’s what worries me.”

“They’re infused,” she added brightly.

A hush fell over the room. Helen’s face darkened. One shade. Two shades… make it three, and her head looked ready to explode.

“Infused how?” another woman asked, delighted.

“With flavor,” said Dottie. Then, after a beat, “And possibly… perspective.”

Helen pressed a hand to her forehead. “You can’t be serious.”

“Oh, don’t be dramatic, Helen,” said Dottie. “The effects are very mild.”

“Define effects,” I asked.

Dottie considered that. “Colors might seem friendlier. Music might feel personal. You may briefly believe you’re the hottest woman in the room.”

Several women gasped.

“I’ll take three,” one said immediately.

Jason appeared beside me, his eyes wide. “Should I… stop them?”

I glanced around the room—at the laughter, the excitement, the way the women were already reaching for napkins and plates.

“No,” I said. “Let’s… see what happens.” And pray to the gods I don’t get sued.

Dottie shot me a triumphant grin and moved through the crowd, serving with the confidence of a woman who had never once questioned her own judgment.

“Chew slowly,” she advised one guest. “Fast chewing makes it emotional.”

Another woman popped one into her mouth and froze. “Oh.”