Page 268 of Ricardo

Surely that can disrupt a body.

Surely.

A knock comes at the door, so soft I almost miss it.

I stand too quickly, and the room sways again.

“Julia?” Victoria calls through the door.

“Yes.”

The door opens.

She steps inside with a small paper pharmacy bag in one hand and a bottle of water in the other. Her face tells me nothing. I appreciate that. If she looked too sympathetic, I might break.

“We have three kinds,” she says.

“Three?”

She shrugs. “Seemed like a safe bet.”

A laugh slips out of me.

She sets the bag on the table.

I stare at it as if it might move on its own.

“I don’t know if I can do this.”

“You can.”

“What if I can’t?”

“Then we sit here until you can.”

That makes my throat tighten.

I pick up the bag. It crinkles too loudly in the quiet room. Inside are three boxes, a brand I recognize, one I do not, and another that says digital across the front in cheerful letters that feel ridiculous under the circumstances.

Pregnancy tests should not look cheerful.

Nothing about this feels cheerful.

“I haven’t even told Ricardo I think it’s possible,” I say.

“You don’t know yet.”

“I know, but I asked you. That makes it real enough.”

Victoria sits at the table again, carefully, one hand briefly at her back. “Take the test first. Then decide what happens next.”

I look at her.

“Do you think it is wrong that I’m scared?”

“No.”

“I should be thinking about Dante.”