Page 57 of Framed Obsession

Panic sinks in once again. My chest constricts, causing pain to circulate all over. I try to push myself up. My body needs to be anywhere but on the floor right now. My body wants to be anything but still.

Instead, Dahlia holds me in place. She wraps her arms around me in a tight hold, keeping me from wreaking havoc on myself, knowing probably for the best.

“Do you know what happened? Can you remember for me?” she asks.

“They deserved it. They deserved it. They deserved it,” I repeat, unable to say the words that are clawing at their escape. Fuck. I tried so hard to leave all this in the past. It's been twenty years. Twenty fucking years since I unchained myself from that prison.

The shackles still remain in my mind, playing a sick reminder in the back of my compartmentalized brain. Taunting me, never letting me forget what I endured, and never letting me forget what I’ve done.

Being unable to control myself puts me in a constant pissed-off mood. It makes me feel fucking weak, fucking useless. The exact same way when I wasn’t in control back then.

That day felt liberating at first. I felt free. At thirteen years old, freedom was the only feeling I was chasing. I was tired. Tired of the abuse, tired of the damage my parents had inflicted on me. I finally had enough.

Freedom can be interpreted in many ways, but for me, it didn’t matter the consequences. It didn't matter what came after. As long as they were gone. At thirteen, I took back my life.

“I’m so sorry. I’m sorry you had to go through what you did, Axel. You are strong. You protected yourself the best way you knew how. You did nothing wrong. You hear me? You did nothing wrong. And I need you to know that,” My Little Flower insists. The words strike me deep within. Straight through a crack etched on my black heart.

And for the first time in a long time, I break.

Chapter 41

The Flower

The amount of pain Axel experienced is shattering. Broken as a child, never once glued back together. Never had the chance. Is this some game that fate had? For him to cross my path? For me to be the one to help him?

Regardless of destiny, this is real. It’s just him and I against the world now. And what’s more, against our own minds. There is an exercise that I have some patients take part in that always ends up relieving some heavy weight off.

The thing is, I need Axel to pour his heart into it. As much as I love his sarcastic personality, this is something I feel may help him. Especially since his parents are no longer here.

After an hour-long panic attack, he has calmed down. I’m glad I was able to be here when it started. I’ll admit, I came here for my own reasons. Not expecting him to be on the brink of a possible melt down.

“I want to try something with you,” I whisper in his ear. We are now resting on his long sofa. The floor was safe, but not nearly as comfortable as the couch. I also want to make sure I’m close to the door in case ‌anything happens to him. Like what? Not sure, but you can never be too safe.

“Little Flower, I think I’m beyond help at this point. I appreciate your efforts, though,” he says. He’s convinced himself that he's incapable of being healed. Well, luckily, he has me.

“I’m not taking no for an answer,” I declare, getting up from the couch. I reach into my bag and take out a pen and paper. Axel looks at me confused and sits straight. I give him a determined smile, hoping for my plan to work.

“I need you to promise me something,” I make my way toward him, holding out the possible moment for a breakthrough.

“I need you to promise me that you’re going to give me your whole heart. Not a sliver, not a half, the whole thing. For this to work, I need all of you. Can you promise me that?” I continue. My face pleading with him to listen. His eyes are hollow and swollen. Eyes that have seen and experienced way too much, but I see right through to the softness.

No matter how much he barricades the person he really is, I see him. A flash of compliance shines through, and he gives me a gentle nod. He and I both know that everything I try is only to help, not to make things worse.

“I want you to write a letter,” I say, handing him the stationary.

“A letter? Baby, I’ve written you so many. If you want another, I’d glad–”

“Not to me. To your parents. Or to one parent,” I cut him off. He stares at me like I’m batshit crazy. Like I just asked him to do the most absurd thing ever. I can faintly see his tan skin paling.

“I can’t do that,” he protests.

“You promised me. Are you a promise-breaker? The Axel Gray is a promise-break–”

“Fine, I’ll do it. But don’t ever call me a ‘promise breaker’ ever again. My word is my bond,” he announces. I give him a warm smile. He and I both know his word is all he has. If I have to use that against him, then I will.

“I’m going to leave you alone to write. Will you be okay on your own? You’ll let me know if you have another episode, right?” I ask, insisting that he better call out to me if he does. I’m here for him in any capacity.

“I’ll be fine, Little Flower. Although I’ll miss you already,” he says, giving me a wink. My cheeks redden and I turn before something else happens.