Page 15 of Calling a Cease-Fire

Avoiding looking in the mirror over the sink, I pulled the Advil from my medicine cabinet and took two. I stopped short in the hallway, bracing myself on the wall as I thought back to the night before. How the hell did I get home?

And then it came back to me. Oh God.

I brought my fingers to my lips as the memory of kissing Zack inundated me. Walking slowly to my open bedroom door, clearly dreading what might be behind it, I peeked in and…

Let out one hell of a relieved breath. No one else was here.

Thank God!

But wait… Did we have sex and he left?

My face felt hot just thinking about it. Casual relationships were a thing for me. Drunken one-night stands, not so much. But with Zack? I didn’t even like him. I smiled. Well, most of the time. I had to admit he could definitely kiss. I liked him plenty then.

Before I could think more about the night and start piecing it all together, my phone rang from somewhere in the living room. I fished it out of my purse and sighed. Lyla. If I didn’t answer, she would just continue to call.

I gave in and swiped answer, bringing the phone to my ear. “Hey.”

“What happened with Zack last night?”

It was just like her to jump right in with a question like that. No “hey, how ya feeling?” Just bam! Right for the tea. And she didn’t even pause enough to allow me to answer.

“And Zack? Really? I thought you couldn’t stand him. You know Nicole is going to be so hurt.”

Wait, what? It wasn’t like they were dating or anything. But she did really like him. I flinched. Jesus. I suck.

Lyla paused to take a breath and I jumped at the opportunity to assure her, “Nothing happened. At least, I don’t think anything did.”

“You don’t remember?”

What did I remember? I remembered walking to his Jeep. Gorgeous red thing that would probably be so much fun with the top and doors off.

“It’s a bit hazy after we left the bar.”

“Well, I saw you guys kissing back by the bathrooms.”

“Oh.” I sighed and poured myself a glass of water, leaning back against the kitchen counter, trying to remember what happened once we got here last night.

“But he texted Adam last night after he dropped you off and said you were home safe and nothing happened.”

Was he disappointed that nothing happened? Or relieved? And why did I care? Wait…did I care?

Fuck. One thing at a time.

I closed my eyes, replaying the night, and cringed thinking about how I threw myself at Miles and then at Zack.

“I’m sorry about how I acted last night. It’s not an excuse, but I had a really hard day and I handled it like shit.”

She sighed. “I know.”

“And I know what you’re going to say.”

“Therapy could really help, Mia. It’s not something to be ashamed of.”

And there it was. The same song and dance about getting the help I obviously needed. I knew she meant well. I was just getting more frustrated every time someone brought it up.

“I’m not ashamed. I just don’t want to talk about it.”

This was a conversation Lyla and I had quite frequently. Maybe she was right. I didn’t know at this point. But I needed to figure it out sooner rather than later, before I did more stupid things like last night.