Page 33 of Crossing the Line

The shower started running again, and I imagined her stepping under the spray to scrub me off her body. When I walked into this room just a half hour ago and heard her moaning my name, it set off something primal inside of me. I had to hear more of it, to own her pleasure.

Now, I felt empty.

She wanted me to go; that much was clear from what she said and what she didn’t say. Every part of me protested the idea of leaving this room, but I was starting to realize that I’d seriously fucked up with Kelsie and sticking around here didn’t seem like the way to make things right.

I had no idea what I could do to fix things between us, but I knew that I wouldn’t start off by lingering where I wasn’t wanted. Getting out of bed, I made quick work of pulling on my clothes.

Walking out of the room was harder than it’d ever been, but I made my feet move until I was in my own room. Closing the door firmly behind me, I let out a long breath, like I was forcing the tension out of my body.

It didn’t work.

I didn’t know what to do with myself as my mind replayed what just happened with Kelsie, the highs and lows of it. Kelsie was so warm and vital in my arms, followed by her cold indifference and the lurch in my gut as she pulled away from me.

I hated this, and the worst part was that I knew I’d brought us to this point.

Checking the time, I saw that I still had about an hour before we were all supposed to meet on the beach to rehearse the ceremony, followed by dinner. With nothing to do but sit around and worry about what was going on with Kelsie, I decided to get ready now and head to the beach early.

By the time I finished my shower and got dressed, the sun was low in the sky, but we still had enough daylight left for the rehearsal, and the dinner was supposed to take place on the resort’s terrace. The thought of the conversation Kelsie and I had there earlier today added to my growing sense of unease.

Everything seemed to be spiraling out of control, and I was stuck between the fear of screwing up my relationship with Kelsie and the desire to hold her close and never let go. I felt like I was teetering on the edge of a cliff. Stepping back onto safe ground made sense. It was comfortable and solid. It was the easy call.

Stepping off the edge into the abyss would result in a dangerous freefall. But what a hell of a ride that would be, maybe the most exciting and satisfying of my life.

When I reached the beach, I saw that the arch and chairs were already in sand, ready for tomorrow. This section of the beach was owned by the resort, and they already had the area roped off so the rest of the people staying here wouldn’t disturb anything. It was a simple setup, but not much was going to be necessary to make this wedding feel special.

I could appreciate the beauty and magic of this island. The setting, the alcohol, the feelings I was starting to think had been building between us all along—maybe it was inevitable that one night it all converged into something Kelsie and I couldn’t resist.

At first, I thought I was the first one here for the rehearsal, but after a quick glance around, I spotted Ryan sitting on the beach by himself in one of the lounge chairs we got from the resort yesterday. He was looking out at the water with an expression of utter peace on his face.

I almost talked myself out of joining him, not wanting to disturb the groom if he was stealing a few minutes for reflection before his big day. But he must have sensed my eyes on him because he suddenly turned his head in my direction.

Ryan waved me over, and I took a seat in the empty chair beside him. The beach wasn’t as full as it was earlier in the day, but there were still plenty of people walking around. My gaze caught on two people standing near the water, a man and woman. I watched as she laughed at something the man beside her said, slapping his arm playfully. I wondered if they were a couple or just friends. Apparently, I couldn’t tell the difference based on how people acted.

“What are you doing out here all by yourself?” I asked, turning to Ryan.

He was leaning back in the chair with his legs crossed at the ankle in the sand in front of him. A man truly at ease. I envied him.

“Just waiting for the rehearsal to start. Leanne is with her mom. The flowers finally came in, and they’re checking to make sure everything we need for the ceremony and reception is here. I hope so, for the florist’s sake. Cathy is already mad about the late delivery, and I wouldn’t want to be the one to piss off this mother of the bride.”

Despite his words, his voice was full of affection.

“Shouldn’t you be helping with the flowers?” I asked.

Ryan chuckled. “You think I know anything about flowers? Leanne insisted that I let her and Cathy handle it, said I’d just get in the way.”

“Good to see you’re marrying a woman that knows you so well.”

Ryan punched me in the shoulder. “I’m marrying the perfect woman.”

“You sound like a lovesick fool.” But God, I was jealous. “So, I guess you’re not having any last-minute cold feet?”

“Nope. I got over my fear of commitment a long time ago. Meeting Leanne changed me, man. For the better.”

“I’m happy for you.” I meant that, but I couldn’t help wondering how he could be so sure about all of this. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

I bit my lip, hesitating. I didn’t want to offend Ryan, but it just occurred to me that he might have the happiest, healthiest relationship that I knew of. If anyone could help me sort through my own twisted thoughts and feelings, it was probably him.