Page 49 of Miss Understanding

Finally, I got out of the cab of the truck and looked up at the cloudy sky. With the cool temperature, it wouldn’t surprise me to see some flakes soon. Once inside, I was immediately greeted by the director, Larry White.

“You must be Liam. Right this way. We were expecting you. Your sister is already here.”

It was unexpected for Allison to be here. Yet not in a bad way. Considering she and I had shared our childhood, it was comforting to have her here. I walked into the room slowly and spotted her sitting in a chair, her head in her hands, weeping. Ah, crap.

I sat down beside her and put my arm around her. “Shhhh, let it all out. I’ve got you.”

After a few minutes of crying, she took a deep breath and met my gaze. “You always did. God, you were two years younger, yet you were such a little man. I was terrified the night he left, but you told me to go hide in my room. That it would be okay. I could hear the sound of shattered glass. Hear Mom crying and begging him not to go. All I could think of was please go. Please leave and never come back.”

I swallowed past the lump in my throat. In all these years, we’d never talked about it. Never spoken about the night forever etched on my brain. “I prayed for the same. Then felt guilty when Mom had to pick up the pieces.” Both literally and figuratively.

“I’m so angry with her for forgiving him. It makes me think if he’d come back at any time, she would’ve forgiven him then, too. There could’ve been more violence. It could’ve been a cycle we never would’ve escaped from.”

For the very first time, I appreciated the fact he hadn’t come back. The thought struck me so profoundly. “You’re right. She probably would’ve. I was angry, too. But I think, as a victim, she didn’t know what else to do. I can forgive her for it, but I’m not sure I can ever forgive him.”

“Me, neither. Mom ambushed me with him at the house. Brought him over to try to talk to me. I wanted to tell him to get the hell out, but I couldn’t do that with the girls there. Which meant I had to listen. Listen to all of the apologies. Mom sat there like she was so proud of him for changing. Told me the Christian thing to do was to forgive him.”

I scoffed. “Just because she did doesn’t mean we have to, but I think we can make peace with it. Be grateful we both turned out somewhat normal despite what happened.”

She nudged me with her elbow. “You mean I’m halfway normal after loads of counseling. You have workaholic issues.”

I laughed. “Yeah, I suppose I do.”

“I’ve missed you, brother. I understand why you don’t like to come home, but I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you, too. And I need to make an effort to come home more often. Make new memories to cancel out the old ones.”

“Make sure you bring Kendall. I really like her.”

I let out a long sigh. “She’s my assistant.”

“So you keep saying, but don’t think I don’t notice how you look at her.”

My wide eyes met her knowing ones. “She’s all of twenty-four, Ally, and did I mention she works for me? She’s employed by the firm I hope to put my name on. I need to be untarnished by even a whisper of a rumor if I ever hope to make named partner.”

“But she only works there until she gets her degree, right? Then she’s probably leaving, and you’ll both be free to date who you want.”

Kendall had mentioned quitting during the next year. My heart started beating harder with the thought. Could I pursue her after she quit? But to what end? It wasn’t as if I had time for a relationship. And she wasn’t the type who seemed to want anything less than the real deal. “I don’t think she’ll be ready to leave the firm for a while. And I don’t have the room in my life for anything serious.”

She sighed. “You don’t have room because you don’t make room. Are you planning to talk to him?” She gestured to the body up in the front of the room.

“I don’t know.”

“I did. It wasn’t very nice, but I think I needed to say it. I have to get back to the girls, but I’ll see you tomorrow for the funeral. We’ll get through it, little brother. I promise.”

I stood up with her and hugged her tightly. “Yes, we will. See you tomorrow.”

As soon as she left, I forced myself to walk closer to see him. He looked so different. Older, though that was to expected. As much as my mother would’ve liked for me to make peace, I found my fists clenching and painful, suppressed memories coming to the surface. Damn. I’d never been good enough for him. How many times had I hoped if maybe I hit a homerun, or got an A on a test, he’d finally say it was enough? Finally be proud of me. Finally love me.

Why did he have to come back? We’d all been better off forgetting about him.

Turning around and stalking out, I was already counting the hours until the man could be officially out of my life forever.

* * *

As soon as I’d pulled into the driveway of the rental, Kendall was out the front door in her ridiculously ugly coat and lavender boots. It had started to snow, so I thought at first she was outside to try another snow angel. Then I saw the absolute panic on her face.

I jumped out of the truck immediately. “What’s wrong?”