Page 101 of Miss Understanding

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I didn’t see Kendall before I had to leave for my flight. It was for the best as I had dread eating at my stomach. Even if she quit the firm in a few months, and we were free to date without any judgment, it was clear a personal life wasn’t compatible with my new role at the firm. Bottom line was she deserved more than I would be able to give her.

Then, why was I hesitating? I had everything I’d ever worked for in one hand. I should have been elated. I should have wanted to celebrate. I shouldn’t have been second-guessing whether it would be worth the sacrifice of love—of all things. Jesus, was it love I was feeling for Kendall? Why did this have to be so complicated?

It was near ten o’clock when I checked in to my Chicago hotel. First thing in the morning I’d go into the office to meet with Leonard Smith, the head of the executive committee for the firm. After the meeting, I’d be off to Virginia for the reading of my father’s will. It was enough to have me downing two mini bottles of bourbon, trying to get a handle on my emotions. I was finishing off the second when my cell phone rang.

It was Kendall. Which was strange as she should still be in class.

“Hello,” I answered.

“Hi. How was your flight?”

Her voice seemed off. “It was okay. Shouldn’t you be in class?”

“I didn’t feel like staying the whole time. Um, do you mind if I come over Sunday when you return? I really need to talk to you.”

Something was definitely off if she’d left class early. “Sure. Or you can tell me now.” Perhaps she sensed me already pulling away. Maybe she’d heard about Gerald coming into the office and realized the stakes had been raised, putting our relationship in jeopardy.

“I can’t. It would be better face to face.”

Again, her tone was strange. “Something’s wrong. Is it your roommate search? Your nan?”

“No. It’s not either.”

“Just tell me now.” I’d never been a patient guy, and this was making me anxious—perhaps she was ready to break up with me. Hell, I could’ve been more social with her family. Maybe she was tired of hiding things. Perhaps she’d come to the conclusion that she was better off without me before I had to say it myself.

“I can’t tell you over the phone.”

“Yes, you can.” Then I remembered how she’d appeared off shortly after she’d returned from the doctor. “Was something wrong at your appointment today?”

Silence with what sounded like sniffling.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Acid crawled up my throat as my mind raced toward a worst-case scenario. “Tell me, Kendall.”

“I’m pregnant.”

Whoosh. Blood rushed to my ears while my brain seemed to shut down completely. There was only the sound of her breathing over the line. My voice, once found, was uncharacteristically high. “How?”

“I asked the doctor the same question. She said condoms aren’t foolproof. I was thinking back to the time in your office with the condom you found in your desk. The timing is about right as they’re putting me at six weeks.”

“I knew I should’ve had a vasectomy.” I’d put it off, but it would’ve been the smart thing to do. I hadn’t realized I’d said the words out loud until she sucked in a harsh breath.

“And I knew I shouldn’t have told you this over the phone.”

I was pacing the hotel room. “I’m sorry. But I told you I don’t want kids. I don’t want a family. I don’t want any of it. Jesus, the timing couldn’t be worse. I found out I have a shot at named partner today. That’s what the meeting was about with Phil. Gerald Anderson was there. I’m meeting the head of the executive committee tomorrow to gain his recommendation. They made it clear this isn’t a position for a man with any personal ties.”

I would blame the shock and alcohol later for my lack of filter. I was unprepared for her anger.

“Do you think I planned this? Being pregnant, now of all times, wasn’t part of my plan, either. Just because I don’t have named partner on the line doesn’t mean this doesn’t affect me, too. But don’t worry. No need to wait until you have the title to break up with me. You can have your wish early.”

I raked a hand over my face, cursing myself, about to respond with an apology, but the phone was cut off. Shit. If there was an idiot’s guide about what not to say, I could have written it.

* * *

Text messages and phone calls to Kendall went unanswered. Finally, I gave up and employed a new strategy the next morning. I waited until she was in the office and called my line from the Chicago office, so she wouldn’t recognize the number and ignore me.

“Mr. Davenport’s office, how may I help you?” her voice answered. Amazing how much I’d missed it.