Page 165 of The Blood Rites

I close my eyes and remember the sound of her laugh, the way it filled my ears. All gone. I think of the others who have gone. Lyssandra and Theon, Callen, Morwen, Fen and Alaris. The words they spoke, the stories they shared, the promises they passed on. It’s too much.

I try to hold all of them in my head at once, but they slip away, replaced by the cold truth of what comes next.

I break the silence. “Marissa liked you, you know.”

He stares at me, wide-eyed. “Is that so hard to believe?” he asks.

I blink. “Well. You can be a bit... prickly.”

“I see.”

My cheeks warm. “I just mean—”

He cuts in. “No, no. I understand.”

“You’re very—” I grimace. “—intimidating.”

He raises a brow. “Wow. Anything else?”

I—Fuck. “You’re also... very handsome.”

He huffs a laugh. “There it is.”

I smile. For the first time since the trial ended, I think. “I really tried, you know. To protect her.”

The words hang in the air, heavy and strange. He waits, not saying anything.

“I’ve not been able to protect anyone here," I say.

He sighs and crooks a finger at me.

I go, sinking down into the space between his legs. He puts his arms around me and pulls me back against his chest, his chin settling at the nape of my neck.

“You’ve saved me countless times already, and you don’t even realise it,” he says.

I don’t know what to say. I don’t believe him for a start.

“I’ve seen a lot of bad things,” he whispers. “My father is… a difficult man.”

“Did he hurt you?”

Kael’s mouth twitches. Not quite a smile. “That would be the kinder version of it.”

“I’m sorry,” I say, because I have nothing else.

“What for?” he says. “You had no part in my past.”

My heart sinks. It’s true, which makes it worse.

“I hope you can be in my future,” he says.

Impossible.

I look away before I can fall into the thought. “Do you have dreams? Of her?”

He looks at me, wary. “Of who?”

“The Mother Shard,” I whisper, as if she can’t hear everything in this place.