Page 67 of When In Doubt

FREYA

“Oh God,” I hiss down the phone. “I can see his truck.”

“Freya.”

“He’s opening the door.”

“Frey.”

“He’s getting out.”

“Babe.”

“He’s walking this way.”

“Freya!” Luci snaps. “Take a deep breath.”

I obey, squeezing my eyes shut as I try and break myself out of the spiral that I’m rapidly falling into.

“Let it out.” Even though my eyes are shut, I can picture her smile through the screen of my phone, currently propped on the desk. I brace my elbows on the surface and drop my head into my hands, being careful not to smudge the lipstick I just applied. That’s why I called Luci in the first place. It’s a different shade of red than I usually go for and I needed to check and see if it clashed with my hair. One thing led to another and soon I was close to tears, spilling every reason why I thought that this was going to go terribly.

Luci just listened, patient as ever, her words soothing as she tried to reassure me that this would be nothing like things with Aaron, that I had to start trusting myself again not to make another bad choice.

At the sound of the bell over the door, I shoot up, smoothing my hair down and trying to look at least eighty percent less flustered. From Oscar’s concerned frown, I don’t know how well I’m doing.

“Hi,” he says softly, his eyes bouncing all over my face. He steps forward, producing a small bunch of wildflowers from behind his back. “I brought you these.”

I stand, wanting to be on his level. “Oh, wow.” I try not to let my hand shake as I reach out to take them. “They’re so pretty, you didn’t have to do that.”

“I wanted to.” As I take the flowers, his hand catches mine, giving it a small squeeze. “You deserve beautiful things.”

“Thank you.” The words come out as nothing more than a breath. “I’m just gonna go put them in water.” I head to the bathroom where I fill up the sink, thankful for the moment alone.

This is fine, this is good. I repeat the words to myself over and over, hoping to calm my racing heart. I feel like my nervous system is in overdrive, like every brush of air against my skin is too much. I have to calm down. I tap my fingers against my thigh in the familiar rhythm. One, two, three, four, thumb. Thumb, four, three, two, one.

I can do this, I can be brave. I want this. I want to prove to myself that Aaron doesn’t control me anymore. If I can do something as small as going out to lunch with a sweet guy who treats me well, then maybe I can start to prove that I’m my own person.

Every click of my soles sounds like a coin dropping against the wood floors as I slowly walk back out. As I round the corner, I make out the faint sound of voices. Oh shit, I forgot to flip the sign before Oscar arrived. Is that a customer? I hurry out, but it’s only Oscar there, behind the desk in the seat I was just occupying.

He grins down at something and I realize with a sinking sensation that I didn’t hang up the call. Luci’s laugh bubbles out the speaker, though I can’t make out the exact words.

I can’t imagine what kind of shit she’s saying to him.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Oscar says good-naturedly.

“Luci,” I hiss, scooping up the device and glaring at her. “What are you doing?”

“Nothing.” She preens like the cat who just got the cream. “Just saying hi.”

“Yeah, I bet you were.” I eye Oscar suspiciously, but he just smirks. “Bye,” I grumble.

“Make good choices!” She squeals as I hang up. When she’s gone, I’m left with only silence, and the force of Oscar’s gaze.

I grimace. “I’m so sorry about her.”

“Don’t be, I’m glad you have such good friends.”

I sigh. “She threatened you, didn’t she?”