Page 1 of Expanding Command

1 - The Search

Miles Bennet

The tightness in Miles Bennet's stomach made it difficult to sit still. Shifting restlessly in the passenger seat of their car, he tried to stretch his legs, jamming the toes of his sneakers into the hard plastic ridge where the dash met the floor.

In the driver's seat beside him, his husband, Darren Quinn, was serene in comparison. His hands gripped the wheel loosely, watching the road as the voices on the kink podcast he'd downloaded filled the air. As if they were driving somewhere completely normal, like parent-teacher interviews instead of an exclusive, overnight black-tie party in Boston.

Miles traced the ridge in the molded plastic of the door's armrest with his thumbnail, managing to avoid playing with the button for the windows. Did Darren realize how on edge he was? Miles looked over again at his husband, who took his eyes from the road for a moment to reassure him with a smile.

"Let's stop for gas and a coffee. I could do with a stretch." Darren turned onto the exit ramp from the highway, heading towards a gas station, and Miles gave a sigh of relief.

Of course, Darren understood his nerves. Sometimes he thought Darren knew him better than he knew himself. He got out of the car to pump the gas before Darren could say anything, taking joy in even a small opportunity to thank his loving husband through an act of service.

"Can I drive for a bit?" he asked, as he flicked open the gas cap and grabbed the nozzle.

Darren joined him at the pump, stroking across his shoulders to stroke the back of his neck. The familiar, heavy weight of his hand and the warmth of his skin were grounding, making Miles suddenly notice how much tension he'd been holding. "Of course. We can talk while you do."

It was a relief to have something to focus on, adjusting the car seat and settling into the long drive. It was better to know that Darren had at least seen the strange, nervous energy that had left Miles not quite sure what to do with himself.

Darren rested a hand over his on the gear shift, anchoring him again with touch. "What are you worried about right now, pet?"

Miles sighed in relief, more of his uncertainty bleeding away. Darren's word choice - the simple, gentle title - was even more grounding than his touch had been.

"I'm ready for this," he said, letting out a long breath and focusing on the excitement of the statement. "I want to do what you do, or at least a bit of it. We've never been to Boston, so we won't really know anyone there. That means possibility. I want to find another couple together."

Darren nodded, and when Miles glanced over, he was smiling softly. "I have a good feeling about tonight, too. Now, tell me what part of it you're worried about." After nearly four years of being together, Darren's understanding of how to lead and mentor him was intuitive and masterful. His husband had recognized that he was struggling and moved to gently take control.

"Everything?" Miles admitted. "How will we know if someone is right? I don't want to just... I don't know, jump into something with some sweet little thing making eyes at me, even if his boyfriend - and my husband - are encouraging it. And sex gets so complicated for me, I don't even know if I could jump into something - "

"Then we don't jump into something," Darren replied, unfailingly logical. "We don't need to do anything you aren't ready for. We'll have an amazing time regardless."

Miles glanced away from the road to give his husband a dubious look. "It's been almost a year since you asked to mentor me."

"It has, but there's no deadlines for that, love. We have our entire lives together to figure this out."

Miles tapped his fingers against the steering wheel and sighed. "I know. I know, I just... maybe I'm worried about disappointing you."

"You could never, pet."

"Disappointing myself, then."

Darren hummed. "I can understand that. You are ready, though. When you take command of someone, you'll feel it. Same as you do with me."

Miles couldn't help but smile at the reminder of their joyful switching. "We're just playing around, though. I really don't think what I find with a sub will be that way."

"Of course not, but that's the point," Darren agreed, and Miles glanced over again to find him grinning, wide and warm and lopsided. "Whoever we find for you will be someone who truly needs to surrender to you. Commanding them will be easier, and much more rewarding, because they won't be a cheeky little brat."

"I like your playful surrender," Miles returned with a pout. Some very nice memories half-distracted him. Honey dust and Darren on his knees, disobediently running out his timer while edging him. "I like how we are when we switch."

"I do too," Darren assured him. "It makes me so happy to play like that with you. But you deserve a real sub." He stroked up Miles's arm and along his shoulder, caressing the back of his neck again. "I want you to feel how rewarding it is when someone devotes their entire self to your will and places their heart in your hands. The same way you did for me, my love. You deserve to feel the strength and gratification of truly being their caretaker."

For every time Miles had convinced himself that he could be like Darren, he'd had an equal amount of doubt. It had never been stronger. "You changed my life," he pointed out helplessly. "I'd never have gotten here without your love."

The adoration in Darren's smile soothed the aching uncertainty inside him. "And you me," Darren said, soft and serious. "I know it might be hard to believe, but the power exchange we gave each other doesn't have to involve sex or desire. Just care, and trust, and vulnerability."

But what if it does? Miles wanted to ask. What if he desires me and I can't return that? What if -

"It'll be okay," Darren assured him gently, rubbing his fingers into Miles's tense, aching traps. "There are so many ways to meet a sub's needs. I do this for a living, remember? I'll be with you, Miles."