Page 93 of Ruthless Dream

“You don’t want to mess with the trains, and we haven’t even begun to start decorating,” she says.

“I didn’t⁠—”

“What about the trains?” Gia appears.

“We can’t just throw Ciaran out into the dark streets on Thanksgiving Day,” Nat tells her mom in that typical deadpan tone she uses.

Gia frowns, thinking this over.

Adeline meanwhile, squeezes my knee, also liking this idea.

Gia shrugs. “Stay the night.”

“I didn’t bring anything.”

She waves the excuse away. “You think we can’t find you a spare toothbrush? Boris will lend you some sweatpants.”

Nat slaps a hand over her mouth, barely hiding her snort.

It only gets ten times funnier when Lennie of all people asks, “Is he going to sleep in a guest room or Adeline’s room?”

Adeline leans around me to answer. “He’ll stay in my room.”

Nat’s shoulders shake. Gia rolls her eyes, not fussed. It’s not even Boris’s left eye twitching that makes me warm inside. It’s Adeline’s shoulder leaning into mine as we sit side by side on the outrageously comfortable armchair.

The rest of the evening was spent helping the Akatovs decorate for Christmas. At least the female members. Boris left muttering something about going to Lev’s. I took this to mean he needed to go vent to his friend about his daughter’s love life.

Their house is so big we only set up a fraction of the decorations before Nat got a phone call from her girlfriend and Lennie decided she’d had enough of people.

Gia was true to her word, giving me a pair of Boris’s pajamas. Part of me wanted to put them on so I could take a photo and send it to Uncle Cormac and Seamus.

Something held me back, though. I’m not a sentimental guy, but I didn’t want to mess this moment up with cameras and texts. I wanted to enjoy this moment in time, spending it with just Adeline and her family.

In the end I shucked off my clothes but never put on the pajamas. Adeline snorted when I slid under her sheets.

“We are going to sleep,” she said, implying there’d be no other activities. I acknowledged that there was a piece of me that wanted to bury my cock in her so hard, claiming her in her childhood bedroom. I ignored it, something dulling the boyish rage I usually feel when I’m in nice homes like these.

I’m not so fucked up that I can’t admit how fucked up it’d be to use her to get at her father. For once I ignore the beast that lurks inside me, the one raging to show people up.

Adeline kissed me goodnight on the cheek, and I laughed instead of hauling her back for more. That might also be because I like the feel of her curling against my side. Normally, she sleeps with her back to my shoulder while I stare up at the ceiling. Tonight she’s got her head on my chest, her arms wrapped around me. The weight of her is a steady pressure.

I never told her about the meeting with Wallen.

I can use any excuse I want. I know it’ll piss her off. That she’ll go back to staring at me like she did those first few weeks I crashed into her life.

She doesn’t mention Jack, but sometimes I see her still, and I wonder if she’s reliving those moments when he touched her. No matter how hard I try to pull them away from her, sometimes her body stiffens when I first draw her in for a kiss.

I find this more maddening than anything I’ve ever encompassed simply because I can’t do anything about it. I can’t take the memory away. I can only blame myself for not getting to her quicker that night.

That night where I had watched and waited and later congratulated myself for being incredibly lucky in spinning my own trap.

I run my hand down Adeline’s back. “Ads.” I jostle her. “Ads.”

She emits a sleepy moan.

“My cousins and I are going to Vegas for New Year’s,” I tell her. We decided yesterday. After Wallen invited us.

“What?” Adeline rubs her face, eyes still closed.