Page 52 of Ruthless Dream

Ciaran rolls, his body heat radiating over me. He slips a finger inside my pussy and my breath catches. In and out. My eyes flutter closed.

Before tonight, this is the furthest stage I’d ever gotten to with a boy, and it’s never felt like this. Ciaran is firm, his finger touching parts of my body I’ve never felt before. He adds another finger, his movements careful, making sure I’m okay.

His thumb softly traces my clit. Firmer and firmer his movements grow, yet I’m the softest I’ve ever been, floating on a wave before it crests, and I ride the aftershocks that glow.

“Look at me,” Ciaran orders, removing his fingers. I don’t know what mess he sees when he stares at me, but he pulls me in for a kiss. My legs open wider as if I needed further proof that I’m a lost cause.

But Ciaran’s kiss ends, and then he’s back on his side of the bed.

I lift slightly. “Do you need⁠—”

“No. Go to bed.” His voice is quiet in the night, but stern.

“But—”

He plays with my hair like always, gently pushing me until I lie back. “Goodnight, Adeline Marie.”

“Goodnight, Ciaran.”

CHAPTER 12

Adeline

After hour four of studying, I decide to take a break. Except instead of turning to Instagram like I’d normally do, I stare bleakly at old texts Nat and I have sent.

Not even twenty-four hours ago, I lost my virginity to Ciaran O’Connell. As monumentally life changing as this event was, it’s not where my mind has floated to most of the day.

It’s the weird, stupid argument I had with Natalie that’s keeping me on a knife’s edge.

I woke up this morning in Ciaran’s bed and tried to slip out.

Ciaran’s hand wrapped around my arm before my toes touched the floor. “Permission to leave the bed wasn’t granted.”

And that’s when I discovered that a sleepy Irish accent does something to me. I told him I had to go study and when he argued about breakfast, I simply shrugged. Maybe he read that I needed space because he stopped fighting me, though he did walk me to my dorm, stopping to buy us coffee.

I couldn’t tell what we were doing on this coffee run. If he thought it was chivalrous or if this was something he normally did with girls he slept with.

Our talk was stilted because, for the first time, we didn’t talk about any of the people we were mutuals with. You know, people with nefarious backgrounds.

It seemed trivial talking about the weather and asking Ciaran if he’d gone to any museums as if he hadn’t once killed a guy in front of me before.

He kissed me before I walked back into my dorm, wearing yet another one of his T-shirts. I grabbed my backpack and headed to the library, where I’ve spent hours studying since.

But my thoughts keep drifting to Nat.

I don’t like how short she was with me. How she sifted through my responses looking for an argument. But I was wrong to talk about Lia’s engagement. The fact that her parents keep denying her sexuality is a very real problem, and it affects my sister.

Typing out an apology doesn’t feel right, though. Two little words on an electronic screen aren’t enough. I’m afraid she won’t pick up if I call.

My thumb hovers over the keyboard until the right words form.

Adeline: One time offer: I’ll kill Peter Sablin.

That’s who Lia is supposed to marry, a thorn in all of our sides.

Nat loves the message but doesn’t type out a response. Knowing her, it’s the best outcome. She’s methodical even when sorting through her feelings.

I can’t stand sitting in the library anymore, and I’m tired of staring at my statistics assignment. Gathering everything up, I tiptoe out.