Page 42 of Ruthless Dream

“Okay.”

“Okay.” Her eyes widen.

The knots in my shoulders burn, and the back of my neck is stiff. Nat, despite being the oldest, rarely gives a lecture. She’s the one with advice and an easygoing attitude. I’m not sure if it’s the high heels rubbing the back of my feet, the static noise all around us, or the fact that Mom also acted weird, but tiny cuts bleed along my skin.

“Would you just say what you really want to say?” I roll my eyes, but there’s a rising tide of shame and disappointment crawling under my skin. Shame and disappointment for being a failure.

“You don’t have to be perfect,” Nat says. “You can just admit you’ve got crap roommates, you hate your internship, and that this guy is a distraction.”

“He’s not a distraction.” I frown. In high school, I was the first person to admit if a guy was stupid. Or not worth my time.

“He’s got an Irish accent.” It comes across as an accusation.

“So?”

Nat knocks back her champagne.

“You’re clearly going through something,” I say. “But I’m absolutely fine, thank you very much.”

Nothing to see here.

“I like my internship.” It’s going to help me get a job one day.

“Right.” Nat sounds doubtful.

“I’m sorry your roommate was shit your freshman year, but mine are great.”

“Of course.”

“And I like my Irish boyfriend.”

“Petulant, much?”

A sardonic smile paints my lips. “How are things with Lia? I heard she got engaged this week.”

“Fuck you.”

My head jerks back. There’s a burst of laughter from nearby, the group of businessmen still buddying up, but I feel Dad’s sharp gaze on us.

Nat’s never sounded like that. The bitter words spewed from within her.

She’s dated Lia since high school, but her parents want her to marry a guy named Peter. A Bratva arranged marriage. It’s this thing we’ve all known about for years. How much Nat loves her girlfriend, but how Lia won’t stand up to her parents.

“I guess we can expect an engagement between you and the Irish guy,” Nat says, her eyes glassy. “Add it to the fucking to-do list.”

Nat and I are both planners, but lately she’s weaponized this personality trait.

Since we’re both in shit moods, I respond with a, “Yes.”

Things might be shit now, but that doesn’t mean I won’t get what I want in the end.

College degree, husband, and a home. We’ll get a dog first. Some sort of medium sized breed. We’ll enjoy married life first and then try for kids when I’m around twenty-seven. That way I’ll have lived life but also still be a young mom.

I can make this work. Mom and Dad always taught us that when things went to shit, Akatovs always land on their feet.

I stare past Nat, spotting Ciaran walking over to my dad. I went about this all wrong. Ciaran thinks he played me, but there’s opportunity for the both of us.

CHAPTER 10