Page 113 of Bend

My mouth’s gone dry, so I swallow and stare out at the water.

“This isn’t like that.”

Wolfe glances over. “Because I’m a man?”

“Because you’re you.”

That gets his full attention.

I finally look at him, and immediately wish I hadn’t. He’s watching me properly now, calm and open, while I feel like I’m one wrong word away from making a complete tit of myself.

“You’re not some random bloke I can forget once the night’s over,” I say. “You’re there the next morning. At the garage. On the track. In my bloody head every time I’m trying not to think about you.”

His jaw shifts, but he doesn’t interrupt.

“And yeah, part of it is because you’re a man.” I rub a hand over the back of my neck. “I’m not going to stand here and pretend that doesn’t scare the shit out of me, because it does. I know what people expect. I know how quickly blokes can turn nasty when something makes them question themselves.”

Wolfe’s expression tightens. “You really think I’d let anyone make you feel small for this?”

“No, mate.”

“Then what are you scared of?”

I let out a short laugh, but there’s nothing funny in it. “Everything that comes after.”

“After what?”

“After I stop pretending none of this matters.”

His face softens, and I look away before it gets under my skin.

Bloody hell, he makes it difficult to stay defensive.

“If I admit I want you, then I’ve got to live with the fact that I do,” I say. “And not only for one night or because Echo was there. Not because I was pissed, confused, or caught up in the moment.”

“You don’t sound confused.”

“Because I’m not.”

The answer comes out so fast it catches both of us and Wolfe goes still.

The water rolls over our feet, cold against my ankles, and for a second all I can hear is the surf and my own pulse thudding like a fucking idiot.

I force myself to hold his gaze.

“I. Want. You.”

His eyes don’t leave mine.

“I’ve wanted you for longer than I’d ever willingly admit,” I continue, quieter now. “I’ve just been calling it everything else because I’m a stubborn bastard.”

His mouth twitches, but he doesn’t stop me as I drag in a breath and rub the back of my neck.

“I still want Echo and I still think girls are fit. That hasn’t changed. I just…” I glance at him. “I want you too, and I haven’t got a fucking clue what I’m meant to do with that.”

Wolfe nods like I haven’t just turned myself inside out in front of him. “You don’t have to know tonight.”

“Thanks, mate. That was bloody helpful.”