Page 49 of His Forbidden Obsession

But no matter how honest he was, my feelings for him were dangerous. I truly didn’t think Dimitri would make another attempt. He was wounded, and he knew we would add to our number of guards, but I couldn’t afford to be this out of it when we were under threat. I hadn’t intended to get so consumed. I hadn’t thought I could. I’d had damn good sex, but it had never taken me out of myself before, made me forget everything around me.

I should clean us up and then go sit on the balcony and keep watch. I could let the hot, humid air make me sweat out whatever was making me crazy enough to start thinking I could keep Nikolai. But I wasn’t going to do that. If Nikolai wanted me in bed with him, that was where I would be. I couldn’t resist him, couldn’t say no to him. I wasn’t even going to try.

“Lorenzo?”

“Yes, baby.”

“This is real, right?”

What exactly did he mean? Us? This room? This night? The chemistry between us or the scarier feeling that I didn’t dare name? “I think so.”

He let out a long sigh and smiled. “I dreamed about you.”

“While you were locked in your room?”

He shook his head and tried to look away, but I grabbed his chin and turned him back to face me. “When do you mean?”

“After the first time I saw you, when I was eighteen. I’ve fantasized about you for years.”

His words hit me like a punch to the gut. “You…” Fuck. Now I was the one who was speechless. He’d been thinking about me for all those years when I’d been keeping tabs on him, never forgetting the way my body had lit up when he’d shaken my hand and met my gaze.

“You had to have known how I felt when we met. I was kind of obvious.”

I smiled. He had been. “I wanted to take you with me and see if I could destroy your innocence.”

“I wish you had.”

Thank God I’d still gotten that chance. “I would have saved you then if I’d realized how bad things were. You never should have had a father like Dimitri or had to be part of a family like mine.”

He shook his head. “Your family isn’t⁠—”

“We’re criminals, Nikolai.”

“You haven’t hurt me.”

“I will eventually, or someone will because of the business I’m involved in.”

He shook his head. “It’s not the same. My father hurt me on purpose.”

I would never try to hurt him. I’d promise to protect him, to keep him safe, and he needed me now, but if he stayed with me after I’d taken care of his father and Ivanov, he would never truly be safe. To have the life he deserved, he would have to go far away from my family and his.

Any idea of following Remington’s command and keeping my hands off Niko was long gone, but I had to remember that he was only mine for right now.

The primitive part of me protested that I had to keep him. Even though I’d just come hard enough to see stars, I still wanted him. I wanted to see if I could make him come again just so I could watch. I wanted to cover him in my cum so he would smell and taste like me.

But I would listen to those urges. I couldn’t put him at risk like that. Unless we soundly defeated the Ivanovs, as well as Dimitri and those loyal to him, his presence would put my brothers at risk too. It didn’t matter how old they were or how capable they were of defending themselves. I’d sworn to never put anything ahead of their safety.

“Lorenzo?” Niko’s voice pulled me from my thoughts. “Are you okay?”

No, I was definitely not okay, but I was going to get myself together. “Yes, baby, I’m fine. You just wore me out.”

He smiled. “There’s no way. I’m sure you’re used to men that are much better than me.”

“No, I’m definitely not. I don’t know what kind of assholes you’ve made out with, but they are stupid as fuck if they didn’t think being with you was a gift. None of them deserved to touch you. They weren’t even close to good enough for you. I’ve never been with anyone hotter than you.”

“Lorenzo, you don’t have to say those things. I’m going to be here. I’m going to do whatever you want. I know how much I owe you.”

I wanted to end this game now so I could stop pretending my taking his ass had anything to do with him owing me, but I also didn’t want to take any risk that he’d stop being so open and needy, so willing to strip himself down to nothing in every possible way for me.