Page 81 of Coming Clean

He knocked again. “Connor,it’s Jeremy. Please let me in.” Whatwould the neighbors think? It doesn’t matter. Only seeing Connormatters.

Nothing. Not a sound. Histruck was in the lot, but maybe he’d walked somewhere else. Maybehe was with another man right now. Maybe there was another guy inthere getting a taste of what was Jeremy’s. Fuck no!

Wait, when did I startthinking of Connor as mine?

The day you sawhim.

He knocked again.“Connor!”

Footsteps. Finally. Thelock clicked and Connor opened the door. He looked amazing. He’dbeen gorgeous in his dress clothes, but now he stood before Jeremyin a ratty USMC t-shirt and tiny gym shorts that showed off histhick thighs. He was everything a military fantasy was meant to be.Jeremy wanted to go down on his knees, kiss those lightly furredmuscles, rip off those tantalizing shorts…

“You here to stare or doyou have something to say?” Connor asked, his tone icecold.

“I’m sorry.”

Connor gave a curt nod.“That’s a start.”

“Can I come in?”

Connor studied him for afew seconds and then stepped back without saying more.

Jeremy entered. He hadn’tthought Connor would forgive him instantaneously, but he hadexpected him to be angry, not cold and distant.

“I should have told you.”Jeremy wasn’t going to defend his actions. He’d been anidiot.

“That you’re leaving?” Atleast the ice had melted enough for sarcasm.

“I’m not—”

“Show me the courtesy ofbeing honest.” Now Connor’s eyes showed the anger Jeremy hadexpected. He was obviously not going to give an inch.

“I haven’t decided what todo. That’s why I didn’t say anything to you. I realize now that Imade the wrong choice. I told myself I didn’t want to worry you,but actually, I was afraid.”

“That I’d try to hold youback?”

“No.”Afraid I’d stay and you’d leaveme. “Fuck, I screwed thisup.”

“I wouldn’t have tried tomake you turn it down.” The pain in Connor’s voice crushed Jeremy.He wasn’t sure he could keep going. But he had to. He couldn’t giveup now.

“I never thought you would.I swear.” He’d been far more worried of the opposite, that Connorwould insist he take the opportunity.

“David knew, didn’t he?”Connor asked.

Was that the real issue? “Ihadn’t even met you when I applied for the job.”

“Is that a yes?”

Jeremy nodded. He shouldn’thave to justify himself for sharing something with his bestfriend. You wouldn’t have to if you’djust told Connor too. “I should havetold you as soon as I received the offer, but I was going totell—”

“When? Once your bags werepacked. Do you understand what I—” Connor turned away and pressedthe heels of his hands to his eyes.

Fuck! He could guess whatConnor had almost said. He’d pushed himself to come out forJeremy.

He should have done it forhimself.

But he did it forme.

He still hasn’t toldMario