Page 75 of Coming Clean
“There’s a faculty awardsbanquet at Wentworth on Saturday night. I’d really like you to comewith me. I wouldn’t even go myself, but I’m getting an award so Ihave to be there. It’s dressy casual, not formal or anything. AndI…. Fuck, is this too much?”
Connor answered honestly.“I’m not sure.”
“We don’t have to sayyou’re my date.”
“You’re gay, they knowthat. Everyone will assume I’m your date.” Unless they didn’t thinkJeremy could be interested in a dumb jarhead.
“I’ve brought Davidbefore,” Jeremy said.
“And—” Wouldn’t the otherprofessors make the same assumptions about the two of them thatConnor had?
“All right, a lot of peopledid think we were together.”
“Until David flirted withall the women there?” Connor fought the urge to laugh. Straight ornot, David sure could look gay when he wanted to.
“Actually, most of themaren’t his type.”
“Too uptight?” Connorasked.
“No, toohippified.”
Connor’s laughter burstforth at the image of coolly beautiful Jeremy and flashy Davidamidst a sea of dreadlocked women in patchwork skirts.
“So, what do you think?Will you go with me?”
Connor sighed. He wanted tobe there for Jeremy, wanted to jump into an out-of-the-closetrelationship with both feet. “I’ll go.”
“You will?” The surprise inJeremy’s voice hurt when it shouldn’t have.
“You thought I’d sayno?”
“Well, yeah, but notbecause—”
“I told you I was going totry.” Why the hell was he being pissy? Because you’re mad at yourself. Because you chickened out andthen fucking lied about it.
“I want you to do this foryourself, not just for me,” Jeremy said.
“Yeah, I should.” But thatalone would never motivate him the way finding Jeremyhad.
“What happened to Mario onyour last mission?”
No. He couldn’t have thisconversation now. Connor wanted to curl into a ball and make it allgo away. “I… can’t… I want to tell you, but I can’t. Notnow.”
“Okay.” Thankfully, Jeremydidn’t push. “Whenever you’re ready, I’ll listen, okay?”
“Yeah, I know.”
Jeremy would listen and hewouldn’t push for more or pity Connor like most people he’d toldany piece of the tale to. He’d never mocked Connor or acted like heshould just get over things when he freaked out. As if you ever gotover seeing people blown apart by a bomb your own team hadset. Fuck. He slammed his fist against the wall. How could they havebeen so wrong?
Because you were tricked,betrayed, double crossed. Your “informant” never intended to helpyou.
We should have seen that.We were trained to read people.
“Connor?”
Jeremy was still on thephone. “Yeah.” He barely forced the word out.
“Are you okay?” Jeremyasked.
