Page 73 of Coming Clean
If you want him to be openand honest with you, then you have to return the favor.
He would tell Connor. Justnot yet, not until he made a decision. No reason to say anything ifhe wasn’t going to take the job, right?
****
When Connor firstreturned to the states, he and Mario rarely talked more than once amonth. This was partly because of the missions Mario and the teamwere sent on, but mostly, Connor guessed, because Mario didn’t knowwhat to say to him. And now that Connor knew Mario thought Connorsaved his life instead of viewing things the other way around, hisuncomfortable silence made even more sense. Lately, they weretalking more. Things had been in a lull for the team and Mario hadstarted calling or Skyping Connor about once a week.
Connor rarely initiated thecalls, since he didn’t know when Mario would be somewhere he couldtalk, but a week or so after Jeremy fucked him until he couldn’tstand up, Connor waited until night had fallen in the Middle Eastand called his friend. He didn’t get an answer so he left a messageasking his friend to call him back.
The sound of his phoneringing woke Connor from a dream several hours later. He’d been inthe desert, though not as a prisoner. He’d simply been lying in theunrelenting heat, wondering if he’d ever make it back tocamp.
He picked up his phone andsquinted at the screen. The call was from Mario.“Hello.”
“What’s up?”
“I… um…” What the hellshould he say?
I’m gay. Just say it.Don’t wait.
No, I’ve got to work up toit.
“I guess I woke you, didn’tI? But you must’ve wanted to tell me something important. You nevercall.”
Was there a sarcastic edgeto those words? Did Mario expect Connor to call. He’d never saidanything if he did, so how would Connor know? “I never know ifyou’re where you can get a call.”
“I know. It’sfine.”
“I was just… checking onyou. Seeing how things were going.”
“Nah, you wanted somethingelse.”
Perceptive bastard.Sometimes Connor hated how well they could both read cues fromothers. It had saved their lives many times, but in the civilianworld it was mostly a burden. “Sabrina’s working on graduate schoolapplications. You ought to call her and check on her.”
“You’re seriously scoldingme about calling my sister? The little shit never callsme either.”
“She probably assumesyou’re busy like I do.”
Sabrina’s going to killme.
Tell him. Don’t be apussy.
“Did she put you up tothis?” Mario asked.
Fuck.Why couldn’t Connor just do this? Now he wasfreezing up and getting Sabrina in trouble. “No, she just seemed tobe missing you.”
Mario snorted. “Notlikely.”
“So… um… how arethings?”
“Like usual. Oh, I don’tguess you heard about Fargo and Cousta?”
“No,” Connor said.Please don’t let them be dead.
“They were caught fuckingin the XO’s office.”
Connor’s pulse raced andsweat rolled down his back. He’d had both of those men on theirknees in front of him. He’d jerked off with them numerous times,but never in an office. Behind a bar, in a closet, in a bathroomstall sure, but in the XO’s goddamn office? Had they lost theirminds?
“What happened to them?”Connor fought to keep his voice neutral.
