Page 45 of Coming Clean

Connor’sheart thumped as he watched Jeremy through the window. Jeremyappeared more stunned than angry, but he’d made no move to open thedoor.

“Can I come in?” Connorasked through the glass.

Finally, Jeremy nodded andmoved toward the door. Just as Connor stepped into the foyer, Davidappeared. Connor hadn’t seen his car, but he did live close enoughto walk. Jeremy might be confused about how to respond, but Davidwasn’t. His red face and hard eyes let Connor know he was furious.David and Jeremy weren’t together after all, were they? No, Jeremywouldn’t have done what he did with Connor if he and David were ina relationship.

“What are you doing here?”David demanded.

“I came to talk toJeremy.” And you’re not going to stopme.

David snarled at him.“We’re having breakfast.”

Connor knew David meant itas a dismissal. If Jeremyasked him to leave, then he would, but he wasn’tabout to let David push him out. “I’m just asking you to hear meout. Then I’ll go if you want me to.”

“Jeremy.” David sent Jeremya look that was probably meant to encourage him to throw Connorout.

“We’d finished eating,actually, and David needs to go soon,” Jeremy said. He turned tohis friend. “I have to deal with this on my own.”

David nodded, then he tooka few steps toward Connor. “You hurt him, Marine, and I don’t carehow tough you think you are, I’ll tear you apart. You gotthat?”

Connor gave him a sharp nodand kept his balled fists at his sides. Getting into a fight withDavid wouldn’t help Connor’s position with Jeremy. But right then,what he wanted more than anything was to wipe the smug look offDavid’s face, the one that said Jeremy was going to hand him hisass and David would be waiting in the wings to laugh athim.

David stomped out, bangingthe door closed behind him. Connor turned to face Jeremy. “I’msorry about last night.”

“Come on, let’s go into thekitchen.” Jeremy’s voice was flat, like he was being courteous onautopilot. “If you want some French toast or bacon, there’s plentyleft.”

Connor looked at the foodand his stomach flip-flopped. No way could he eat when he was thisnervous. “No thanks.”

Jeremy sat down. “Okay,talk.”

He wouldn’t be able to saystill if he sat, so he paced the length of the kitchen. “I’ve beenwith men before, but we were always in a hurry, the threat of beingcaught hanging over us. Then I moved here and I… I have no idea howto explain what it’s like trying to re-adjust to civilian lifeafter the things I saw, the things I did. I know in my head thatit’s okay that I like men. I’m not on a recon team anymore; I’m ina liberal city. But it’s like… I don’t know, maybe I’ve shuntedthose feelings away for so long that I…” His heart raced and hecouldn’t catch his breath. The edge of his vision darkened.Fuck, not now. Hewas not going to have a fucking panic attack in front of Jeremy ofall people.

Jeremy took Connor’s armand helped him to a chair. Because it was better than fainting,Connor bent over and put his head between his knees.

“Would it help to have somewater?” Jeremy asked.

Connor nodded. If heweren’t so angry with himself, he might laugh. They were right backto where they’d started with him freaking out in Jeremy’s kitchenand needing someone to take care of him. “I’ll go if you want meto,” he forced the words out past the constriction in histhroat.

“I don’t want you to go.”Jeremy sat a glass of water on the table. “I’ll put this here forwhenever you’re ready.”

Connor sat up slowly,hoping he had himself somewhat under control. He drank a few sips,glad for the distraction. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I should havestopped things but… God, it felt so good, and I’ve wanted you sinceI first saw you.”

“I knew better than tostart something like I did. I assumed you were straight, but thenafter the play and the way you touched me when you were here, Icame up with this crazy idea that I could push you to admit how youfelt. I was stupid and childish and insulting and—”

“Don’t you dare say youdeserved what happened, because you didn’t. I froze like anidiot.”

Jeremy shook his head. “No,you froze like someone who’s scared.”

Connor wanted to protestbut that would be a fucking lie. “Fine, I’m scared.”

Jeremy nodded. “So whathappens now?”

They stared at one anotherfor several seconds. Need raced through Connor and his cockhardened. He knew what he wanted to do, but if he followed hisdesire they would likely both get hurt. “I don’t know.”

“What do you want tohappen?” Jeremy asked.

Heat filled Connor’s face.“You probably don’t want me to tell you that.”

Jeremy sucked in a sharpbreath. “I do. I really do. God, I sound pathetic but—”