Page 38 of Chasing Kit

“Warrick and Eric.” Kit’s smile sent warmth through me, fighting off the coldness that threatened to consume my insides. “Your mom liked Ricks, huh?”

I snorted out a laugh. “Yeah. Something like that. But we both hated the name Rick, so neither of us were going to let the other call us that. So, I was Reek, and he was Errie.”

“Reek? Like stinky?” Kit snickered, when I nodded.

“Yeah. He thought he was funny.”

“Reek and Errie. Sounds like something from a comic.” Kit’s grin widened, and his face transformed into something even more beautiful. He was the Kit I knew before he found out his father was a criminal, before his whole life was turned upside down.

“Only until we got to our teens. Then, it was Eric and Reek. He didn’t want to be called Errie anymore. He was too cool for it. But I never stopped calling him Errie. It drove him nuts.”

I hadn’t talked about Eric in a long time. Maybe I hadn’t spoken about him to anyone since he died—certainly not Mom. Hell, I hadn’t even seen her since before his death. Did she think about me? I didn’t want to know.

“Eric wanted to be like me.” The words felt distant, from a time that seemed to have never existed—a distant past before we joined the navy. Now, it was nothing more than a memory I’d long tried to forget. But Kit looked at me with an eager curiosity that made me want to tell him everything, to open my heart and spill its contents. “I was only a few years older than him. Our dad left when we were kids. I can’t even remember what he looks like.”

My hands clenched into fists on the table, fingernails digging into the vulnerable flesh of my palms.

“I was the man of the house, and Eric was the baby.” I shrugged, forcing nonchalance despite the feeling that I’d cut open my chest for Kit to see inside. “I was never good at being a role model. At school, I got into a lot of fights. I was the silent giant the popular jocks thought they could pick on. So, I fought back. Every time someone said something, I swung my fists and ended up in the principal’s office.”

“They messed with you?” He gave me a once-over, even though I was sitting, and I chuckled.

“You know the saying, you have to fight the biggest guy in the room to be at the top? That’s how they saw it.”

“I hope you knocked them down a few pegs.”

I raised my eyebrows, the corner of my mouth kicking up. “I always won.”

He threw his head back and laughed. “I’d expect no less. I wouldn’t want to go up against you.”

I took another bite of pork and watched his face carefully, taking in the lightness I hadn’t seen since I’d found him in Pleasant Beach. The anger and betrayal hadn’t fully disappeared, but there was also an acceptance behind his eyes. “Are you okay?”

He cocked his head, thoughtful, before shaking it. “No.” He swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “My entire world has been tossed on its head. Everything I knew was a lie.” He fiddled with a piece of chicken before throwing it into his mouth and chewing.

I watched his tongue swipe out to lick his bottom lip, an animalistic need surging up inside me. I shoved it down, though. He didn’t need sex as a distraction.

“But I can either sink or swim. I came here thinking Sky would understand how I felt, but he knew, too. I’m the only one who didn’t. In the end, I’m choosing to swim like a goddamned Olympic gold medalist.”

An ache bloomed deep in my chest. I reached for his hand, lacing my fingers through his. He squeezed them, his eyes teary.

“That doesn’t mean I forgive Dad or Sky or even you, War.”

My spine tensed.

“But I like you a lot, and you’ve protected me. It’s not your fault you work for Dad and were expected to keep secrets. That’s Dad’s problem.”

My fingers twitched in his.

“I’m still mad at him, and I will be for a long time, but I need to decide what I want to do. I can either walk away from my family—the people I love and care for—or I can accept them as criminals.” He stared at me pleadingly. “What would you do?”

It was a loaded question. I’d spent my adult life killing and breaking the law wasn’t difficult for me. Kit was different, though. He was sweet, kind, smart, and far too innocent for his dad’s world. But I was also selfish and didn’t want to let him go, and Derek wouldn’t let him leave. Someone would always be there, guarding Kit in the shadows, even if he decided to walk away.

“I would choose my family if they treated me well.” Sourness slid up my throat and I swallowed it down. “If I could have my brother and mom back, I’d never let them go.”

Kit blinked and a single tear streaked down his cheek before he wiped his eyes. “What happened to them?”

“I killed Eric.”

He made a shocked sound in the back of his throat.