Page 28 of Fortuitous Encounters

Mr Bingley solved the problem of both his sisters and his leased estate the way any sensible man would—he threw money at it.

Once Darcy was safely off the market, Caroline became much more judicious in her targets, attracted a suitor before Easter, and married in the summer. She went out of her way to pay back all arrears of civility to Jane and Lizzy, but since neither of them were much for holding grudges, they kept an arm's-length relationship the rest of their lives.

Bingley never took to estate ownership, so he bought a good-sized manor house ten miles from Pemberley that had no land because it had all been purchased by the Darcys over the previous decade. The Bingleys spent the rest of their lives more actively managing the business left to him, which turned out to be more profitable than an estate anyway.

To nobody’s surprise, Lydia shamed the family; and Darcy, out of the goodness of his heart, arranged a patched-up marriage. She settled into a life remarkably like her parents', where her main interaction with her husband was sniping, and much like with her own parents, Elizabeth was never certain they did not enjoy their misery. She spent the next forty years asking for money. Mrs Darcy spent the same years saying no, but to everyone’s surprise, so did Jane. They never knew or cared if their husbands tossed her a pittance occasionally.

Kitty, to her very material advantage, spent the chief of her time with her two elder sisters. In society so superior to what she had known, her improvement was great. She was not of so ungovernable a temper as Lydia; and, removed from the influence of Lydia's example, she became, by proper attention and management, less irritable, less ignorant, and less insipid. She eventually married a good enough man and lived a good enough life. Elizabeth was uncertain she did not ultimately win, because she got just what she wanted.

Mary surprised everyone by not marrying Mr Collins, but she married a clergyman, and Darcy, out of the goodness of his heart, found the man a living—far, far away.

Mrs Bennet never lived in the hedgerows, mainly because she died a year before her husband, and Mr Collins had already been dead for years. Jane’s third son took up the yoke, and eventually the Bingleys owned Netherfield as well, and became the principal family of the neighbourhood.

For many years, the Darcys and Bingleys proved they could prolong a jest with the best of them. Any time either party was feeling playful and in need of special attention, all they had to say to their spouse was, “Sign here!”

Elizabeth Bennet’s Wager

Elizabeth Bennet reacts to the Hunsford Proposal in an entirely unexpected way, with the help of several friends from Meryton.

Content warning: Contains unrepentant silliness, fluffiness and logical inconsistencies, OOC and maybe OOT. Not recommended for JA purists, Regency Purists or just about anybody of sense and education. Short story, complete in 3 chapters, plus the odd epilogue or two.

I have a dozen or so absolutely silly stories, and I’m not even sure this is among the silliest. Hope you enjoy it.

I wrote the original story, and then kept adding epilogues of varying levels of silliness for nearly a year after.

The Wager

… This he considered sufficient encouragement; and the avowal of all that he felt, and had long felt for her, immediately followed. He spoke well; but there were feelings besides those of the heart to be detailed… He concluded with representing to her the strength of that attachment which, in spite of all his endeavours, he had found impossible to conquer; and with expressing his hope that it would now be rewarded by her acceptance of his hand… Pride & Prejudice Ch 34

~

Elizabeth Bennet tried her best. She really did. She gave it her all. She vowed she would keep a straight face for at least half a minute if it killed her; but alas, her discipline was not up to the task. First there was a smile, then a snigger, followed by an uncontrollable giggle, then a snort, and finally she could contain herself no longer. She started laughing, and once she started, she could not stop. She laughed until tears rolled down her cheeks, and laughed some more, even slapping the table in a vain attempt to restore some sense of decorum—all while Mr Darcy watched in absolute alarmed perplexity. She nearly got herself back under regulation, until his expression was so perfect it set her back to laughing again.

Finally, at long last, she managed to get herself under control and addressed the gentleman. “Oh, Mr Darcy, I thank you. That was absolutely perfect… pure genius! You just made me five guineas from a wager everyone thought I was mad to make. Let us see them laugh now. HAH!! I am the victor.”

Darcy looked at her in absolute confusion. “I do not have the pleasure of understanding you, madam!”

That set off another round of laughing, but Elizabeth eventually restored her equilibrium. “Ah, that delivery was perfection itself. Absolutely wonderful! Do you mind if I ask a few questions and make notes?”

Without waiting for an answer, she jumped up and ran over to the desk to obtain paper, quill, and an inkpot. While the gentleman looked on in complete befuddlement, she wrote down a series of what looked more like chicken scratches than anything else.

At the end of a few scratchy lines, she said, “Let me be certain I get this down correctly! 'I do not have the pleasure of understanding you, madam!' Oh, that is perfect. Absolutely perfect.”

Darcy looked even more confused. “I still do not understand you?”

Elizabeth laughed again, unable to contain her good humour. “Oh, you are such a treasure. May I ask you a few questions? I must have the details; Mrs Long will kill me if I return with insufficient information.”

Feeling as if he had entered Bedlam, Darcy nodded, more in confusion than acquiescence.

“I have so many questions, I hardly know where to begin,” she said enthusiastically. “Is your wager recorded at White's, Brook's, or Boodle’s; or is it just a private wager? Is it a one-on-one bet, or are there several gentlemen involved? If it is not too impertinent, could you tell me the stakes and the odds? Did you write the speech yourself, or did you have assistance? Some of the language had to come directly from Lady Catherine; did she assist you directly or do you just know her so well you could borrow her words with impunity? Was the colonel's conversation this morning when he told me about your part in separating my sister from Mr Bingley part of the wager, or was he perhaps trying to influence the outcome? Please! I must know these things. Do I actually have to answer your faux proposal to make the wager complete, or was the bet just dependent on your delivery? I am dying to comprehend the full scope of this endeavour!”

Darcy’s perplexity increased apace. “The more you speak the less I understand.”

Elizabeth laughed gaily. “Wonderful!! Absolutely wonderful! Do you mind if I write that down? It is even better than the first one. I must say, you are really turning out to be very diverting,” at which point Elizabeth sat back to her chicken scratches and wrote down his last statement word for word.

Darcy watched this in even more confusion. “Pray, explain this to me in the King's English, as I am inordinately confused.”

Elizabeth looked at him like she might a particularly thick child, although she suspected the whole interaction was surely all posturing by that point. “I am speaking of the wagers of course!”