Page 143 of Of Bargains & Betrayal

“You didn’t listen to a goddess-damned word I said, did you?” I shouldn’t have been surprised, given how every interaction with him had gone, but still. “He’s trying to keep me pacified. All he cares about is me staying alive long enough to fulfill this ludicrous bargain, and he can get whatever is in it for him. Look at the shit he pulled today! That man doesn’t have an ounce of fucking faith in me. An alpine course? Really? Had to make sure he brought things way down to my level. Goddess forbid I get treated like any of the other contestants.”

Jasper’s head drew back, and he had the gall to look amused. “So you don’t know, then.”

There were growing odds one of us was going to leave the alley with a black eye or a bloody nose, and things were not looking to be in my old friend’s favor.

“Clearly, I don’t, Jasper,” I bit back. “So why don’t you enlighten me instead of continuing to waste both of our time?”

He sighed. “Everyone had an alpine course, Nor. Max wanted to make sure there was no room for anyone to doubt how worthy you are. Do you know how some of the Elixia struggled with it? Did you not hear how the crowd roared for you? You cleared it faster than half the group. Faster than fae soldiers who are hundreds of years old. This is not about him not having faith in you.”

Crack. Crack. Crack.

There went my hastily built barrier—the one I desperately needed to keep my mind from unraveling—splintering under words of reason I vehemently refused to take as truth.

Maksym didn’t have faith in me. Never had. Never would.

Why would a dark fae king, of a pure, ruthless bloodline, have any faith in a bastard-born Odessan whore without a lick of magic in her veins? No one could fault him for doubting I would succeed in a test built for his most illustrious brethren. His damning silence and clear regret after fucking with my head that night in the cove, though…I could fault him for that. Extensively. I likely would for a long time to come.

“And I’m just supposed to believe you, as his advisor? His best friend? I know I used to trust you more than I trusted myself, but those days are long dead.”

My bait for a new argument sank.

“I really don’t care if you believe me or not; that’s on you.” Jasper shrugged and extended his hand. “But we’re going back to the Keep before you do something out of spite. You’ve only got tomorrow for rest anyway.”

“Oh, absolutely not.” I stepped back out of his reach and farther into the alleyway. “I was having an excellent time, and I’m intent on seeing where the rest of the night takes me.”

Jasper matched me step for step. “Nor.”

“What?”

“I won’t pretend I know anything about who you became after I left Odessa.” He stuffed his hands in his pockets and shook his head, sighing. “But whatever you’re looking for…it isn’t in there. They won’t treat you with an ounce of the respect you deserve.”

Jasper truly didn’t understand the first goddess-damned thing about me if he thought it was respect I would ever look for inside the walls of a tavern. Inebriated escape was usually damned high on that list, followed closely by whatever—ideally degrading—bodily pleasures would chase away reality for a bit. And seeing as I wasn’t partaking in one of those…I wasn’t about to fall victim to Jasper’s attempt to reel me in, to tie my worth to my actions.

No, I doubled down.

“If you’re so disapproving of my prospects, and I certainly won’t be going back to my own bed tonight, why don’t you entertain me then? Take me back to your quarters instead of seeing who else’s I end up in?” I taunted. “Surely your beloved king would trust me to be…respected by his most revered advisor. He and I have that little agreement, after all.”

Jasper’s throat worked, and he rasped, “What?”

“I don’t think I can distill that down any further for you, mage.” As I leaned into his space, I lowered my voice. “I haven’t gotten laid in too damned long, and Maksym’s made it clear he has no interest in me. So, if you aren’t keen either, I’m going to keep working on getting my needs met, alright? The barmaid and her mouth look like they’d treat me with all the respect you seem to think I deserve.”

A single, stunned moss-green eye tracked me as I eased back, and Jasper’s lips parted, as if there were a torrent of words trapped just behind his teeth.

“That’s what I thought.” I let out a huff as I turned to leave. “Goodnight, Jasper.”

Was that my finest proposition ever? Hardly. But it was tough to tell if it was just embarrassment carving away at the gaping void in my chest as one step turned into another, or if everything I’d been carefully tucking away was trying to fight its way through my fracturing resolve.

Regardless, some liquor was definitely in my very immediate future.

Or, it had been. Just three short steps separated me from the tavern door when a hand curled tightly around my wrist.

Jasper tugged me back and turned me with such abruptness, I crashed into him with a curse, splaying my hands across his chest to steady myself. He cast me a single, pained look as he sank his fingers into my hair, drawing me in close enough that our noses brushed and the warmth of his breath ghosted over my lips.

“Jasper,” I warned—or maybe prayed—softly, as my eyes slipped shut.

He kissed me without hesitation.

Kissed me.