Page 3 of Use Me Up

I squeak again. “Um…” What is even happening right now?

“But also, I don’t want it to be fake. It has to really have happened.” His fingers curve around my chin. “You won’t mind, though.”

My tongue darts out and I flit it against my bottom lip. “Um…” I seem to have lost the ability to say actual words.

“You won’t mind, will you?” His voice is deep and sure and rumbling. He gently pushes me back against the wall right next to my bedroom door.

I’m definitely shaking.

“Hannah, I need you to consent.”

“Um…”

“Vocally,” he says, closing in on me. “You just need to say yes.”

I don’t say anything at all. I’m very, very confused. I think he’s saying… what is he saying?

“How about this?” he says. “You just tell me if whatever I’m doing is okay. Yeah?” He raises his eyebrows. His brushes his fingers over my jaw backwards, knuckles whispering over my skin. “This okay?” He pauses, waiting.

I let out a very noisy breath.

“Use your words, Hannah,” he says.

“Yes,” I say, finally. Obviously, it’s okay. Obviously, whatever he wants to give me, I want to take. Obviously, he’s Ellis Cirillo, and this is insane.

“I’m going to kiss you,” he says. “Is that okay?”

“Yes,” I manage, and my voice trembles.

He bends down over me—God, he’s tall—and his mouth finds mine, and he tastes like a storm, and I collapse into the wall, letting it take all of my weight. I just settle there, moving my mouth against his as he slowly eases his tongue inside my mouth, as he claims me, and I feel myself falling apart.

2

hannah

When he breaks the kiss, I’m gasping.

His huge hand slides down over my neck, down to the first button of my stupid yummy sushi pajamas. He fingers the button. “Is this okay?”

I nod. And then I remember he wants me to say it out loud, and I say, “Yes,” and my voice sounds too tinny.

He pops it open.

I shudder.

His fingers move lower, to the next button. “Is this okay, Hannah?”

“Yes,” I say, my voice stronger now. Oh, my God, he’s undressing me.

He undoes that button, too, and then his mouth is on mine again, and his kiss is more insistent, forceful as he parts my lips with his tongue.

I let out a strange sort of noise into his mouth, almost a moan.

He makes an answering noise, mournful. And then suddenly, he breaks away from me.

He’s not touching me anymore.

My legs feel actually weak, and I don’t think I can stand, so I crumple against the wall as he straightens up, looming over me, a hulking shadow.