Page 21 of Use Me Up

I chew on my lip. “Just to hurt them.”

“I feel like we keep going over this,” he says. “I’m not saying this is healthy or something. I know it’s not. This is the wrong thing to do. I know that. You don’t have to participate. You can get in your car and leave.”

But if I stay, he’ll fuck me again. And he just said he would give me an orgasm. And… he’s him. I’ll get to see him naked. Maybe get to touch him. There will be more kissing.

“Okay,” I say. “You can fuck me and record it.”

He comes across the room, pulls me right up against him and kisses me hard. “Good girl.”

I shudder, looking up at him.

He smiles down at me, his voice gentle. “That okay? I like it from alphas, but if you don’t like being called—”

“I like it,” I break in, but my voice isn’t strong.

He kisses me again. “Then be a very good girl and take everything off and get on the bed for me, hmm? Face down like last time.”

Is it always going to be like that? Will I never get to look into his eyes while he’s inside me?

He backs away and looks down at me. “Everything off.” He waits.

“I-in front of you?” I whisper.

“I’ve seen you already.” He’s whispering too. “When I took your virginity last night, you were all spread out under me.”

Yeah, but not my important bits, not my breasts and my… I guess he came in the room and I was lying there for him, naked.

“I’ll undress too,” he says. “You like my body.” He pulls his shirt off.

There’s his chest, all of it, his muscles, the dark chest hair, his stomach. I reach out, think better of it, pull my hand back.

“That’s all right,” he says. “You can touch me.” He steps closer and I put my hand to his bare stomach, to the little hair that grows under his belly button. It’s not so much a trail as it is a triangle. His skin is warm and firm. His hair crinkles, but his skin is satiny beneath it.

He stands there and lets me make the hair on his stomach stand up and lie down and he’s got that affectionate look on his face. “Take your shirt off, Hannah. We took pictures together with you only wearing a bra.”

A sports bra. It covered more. But I have no reason to delay, so I pull my shirt over my head, and then I shrug out of the straps of my bra and scoot it around to undo the hooks. I realize I’ve bared my breasts to him.

When I look up at him, after unhooking my bra, he’s staring intently at my bare breasts. “How’s your nipple sensitivity?”

“Uh… what kind of question is that?”

“You know, some people don’t have much sensation there, and other people have a lot. Some people can come just from someone playing with them here.” He reaches out and thumbs one of my nipples.

I let out a little gasp.

“So, they’re sensitive,” he says.

“I don’t know in comparison to anyone else,” I say.

He gathers up both of my breasts in his hands and intently manipulates my nipples stiff with his thumbs.

It feels good but odd, because he’s being strangely mechanical about it. Of course, now that I think about it, maybe the sex last night was mechanical, too.

“You’re not making noise,” he says.

“I…”

“Turn around.” He turns me. He reaches around me and finds my nipples again.