Page 88 of A Misguided Devotion

“When did he tell you?”

“Not straightaway. I would have apologised at once if I had realised. I was horrified to discover I’d tried to kiss a married woman. If he’d told me at the outset, I would never have fought back, but he wanted to keep their marriage secret even whilst protecting his wife’s virtue.” He paused and asked in a quieter, more vulnerable voice, as he ran his fingers through his hair, “How is he? Will he live?”

“I don’t know. He hasn’t woken up yet.”

“Leaving me no way to prove my innocence.”

“Laura no longer thinks you tried to kill him. She believes it was an accident. Was it?”

“No. Someone hit me over the head. When I awoke, Mr Jenkin was gone. I was about to go back to the house when his wife arrived, accusing me of murdering her husband.”

“Why didn’t you return to your room last night? A groom told me you slept in the stables.”

“I felt too wretched to face anyone. Especially you. When you wouldn’t let me proclaim my innocence yesterday, I was afraid you thought I was guilty.”

“I knew you had no motive to kill him, but an accident? Yes, I thought that’s what had happened. But if you say someone else was responsible, I trust your word.”

William’s fingers combed through his hair again. “That’s a relief, but Mr Barrington believes it was a crime of passion. Or at least, that’s what he wants me to think he believes. I’m scared, Kitty. He can paint a convincing picture of my guilt if he chooses. The desperation of a man who has lost the woman he loves to another.”

“But why would he do that?”

“To force me to rely on him to extricate myself from the consequences if Mr Jenkin dies—and to marry the man’s widow out of gratitude.”

“No! He could not possibly—”

“Yes, he could. Revolting, isn’t it?”

It was more disturbing than she cared to admit. To think she had considered marrying such a heartless man, even for a moment!

“What am I going to do if Mr Jenkin never wakes up, Kitty?”

Any hope of a future with William hung in the balance. If David recovered, he would be free. But if Laura were widowed, Mr Barrington might yet push for William to marry his daughter. Would Kitty have to give him up all over again to save his life? There had to be another way.

“Though we must prepare for the worst, let’s not pre-empt disaster. We will pray he will recover and use the brains God has given us to solve this mystery. If you did not push Mr Jenkin over the cliff, then who did and why?”

William was relieved Kitty trusted in his innocence, but how were they going to prove he hadn’t caused Mr Jenkin’s accident if he never recovered? If the worst happened and the man died, would Mr Barrington see him blamed for the murder unless he fell in with his plans to marry his daughter? Even Father might not be able to rescue him from that.

The uncertainty of his future was troubling, but its impact on the woman beside him wrapped his fear with frustration. Until he knew his fate, he could not honourably offer her his hand and his heart.

“Kitty, I wish—”

She put a forefinger to his lips, shooting heat down his body. “It’s all right. I understand.”

He gritted his teeth together to parry the effect she was having on him. What a wonderful woman she was! He didn’t deserve her.

Capturing her hand with his, he curled it around and placed a feather-like kiss on each finger in turn before returning it to her side.

He lifted his eyes to meet hers, and his chest tightened to see hers glowing with unshed tears. “That is for all the words I cannot say. The promises I cannot make.”

Gazes locked, she leaned toward him, her face upturned. All it would take was a slight movement for him to lean in and claim her lips. It took all his willpower not to.

He had given out kisses too casually in the past, and he could not forget that on the last occasion he had almost shared a kiss with a married woman. No. This time had to be different.

He kissed her forehead and stepped back. “I want you to know it’s not because I don’t want to, but because I do.” He wanted to get this right. To make the promise before the kiss.

Kitty sucked in her lower lip and nodded. “You are an honourable man, William Merry. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.” Looping her arm through his, she led him down the path back to the garden. “Come and have something to eat. Starving yourself will do you no good, and remaining aloof won’t aid your cause.”

His stomach rumbled at the mention of food. “I suppose you’re right, but I’d prefer not to face Mr Barrington again after what he said to me.”