Page 76 of A Single Obsession

Eliza had heard Beau’s words, and could not get away fast enough. Afraid that her involuntary gasp had revealed her presence, she hitched up her skirts and ran, not wanting to face him.

He had called after her as she sped up the stairs, but she didn’t stop until she reached the drawing room. Schooling her face into an emotionless mask, she had opened the door and joined her aunt. It showed how much she wished to avoid Beau, that she would seek Lady Harting’s company, but it was the safest place to be. There would be no opportunity for private conversation here.

The door to the billiard room had stood ajar and, hearing voices, she had hesitated on the threshold, suddenly shy of entering such a male domain. But then she had recognised Anthony’s voice and had been about to join them when she overheard what he was saying.

You were forced into it. Only way to keep your stables going.

She had held her breath, waiting for Beau to deny it, but he hadn’t. He had said those fateful words—words that could not be unsaid.

Yes, I was forced into it.

The last few days had been a lie. He didn’t want to marry her at all. How could she have been so stupid? To think he liked her and might even be falling in love with her?

She had gone to meet Beau with a full heart, looking forward to the closeness she expected from him teaching her how to play billiards. He would have had to draw near to her, to show her how to hold the cue. His long arms would have stretched along hers to guide her aim. She would have felt his breath on her neck as he instructed her. Maybe he would have stolen a kiss.

She stifled a whimper. She had deluded herself. Her kisses meant nothing to him. She had indulged in a foolish hope that he was marrying her of his own free will, but she should have known better.

When he had kissed her that night in the woods, she had believed he felt something more. That at least he liked her, desired her. But even when he proposed, he had not kissed her like that again. It cannot have meant as much to him. How could it, when he had been so ready to leave her when his horses demanded his attention?

Eliza felt as if her heart was breaking into a thousand pieces as she accepted the painful truth she had not wanted to believe. He was only marrying her to pay for his stables. It had always been about his horses—not her.

A quarter of an hour later, Beau entered the room, and Eliza was somewhat appeased to see he looked ill at ease. A glimmer of hope arose within her that maybe he regretted his hasty words—words not meant for her ears.

But the hope drained away as quickly as it had come. It did not make the words less true, just because he hadn’t intended her to hear them.

Beau made his way straight to her side. “Eliza, I—”

She gave him a curt nod and turned to welcome his friend, who had entered the room behind him. She was not ready to listen to his excuses. The pain of what she had overheard was still too fresh.

“Anthony! What a lovely surprise. Have you news of my sisters? Do tell.” She patted the seat next to her in invitation. After shooting a sympathetic glance in Beau’s direction, Ant sat down beside her. She maintained a lively dialogue with him until it was time for dinner, and then sunk into her customary silence.

Once the ladies had withdrawn from the dining room, Lady Harting bore down on her.

“You seem a little out of sorts, Elizabeth. You hardly ate anything. Are you well?”

Sensing a chance to escape, she raised a hand to her temple. “I confess, I’m feeling rather tired.”

The older woman’s eyes narrowed. “I think you should retire at once. You have a headache, and sleep is likely the best cure.”

For the first and probably only time, Eliza was glad of her aunt’s domineering ways. She had nothing to do but submit to her command. Besides, her head was aching, though not as much as her heart.

She dragged herself back to her bedchamber, where Sarah fussed over her, muttering all the while about her lack of animation and attributing it to tiredness.

Her maid tucked her up in bed and left her in peace, but Eliza’s mind was not at rest, and she could not sleep.

She felt numb. All she could think of were those fateful words.

I was forced into it.

Chapter 33

Beau woke the next day with a single thought in his head. Eliza. He must talk to Eliza.

He headed for the stables, hoping she would not abandon their morning ride, but she left him waiting. Was she still suffering from the indisposition that had forced her to retire early the previous evening, or was she avoiding him?

When he walked into the breakfast parlour, she was the first person he saw. He let out a sigh, relieved to discover she was not keeping to her room. He’d be able to find an opportunity to talk to her, to put things right.

“Are you feeling better today, Eliza?” he asked, sitting down next to her.