Page 111 of The Last Guardian

Bile rose in my throat at the thought of what else he’d done to me. What he let Haedeon do—using my blood. Marking me. Erasing memories from me. The mark had stopped burning since I left Lorath. Was it the distance between the High Mage and me causing the connection of the mark to subside?

Could he feel me through the mark?

This thought alone horrified me—keeping me awake in the middle of the darkness, letting the panic settle inside my guts.

It was driving me mad that Zaidkiel didn’t try to talk to me about this—since he’d seen the memory, too.

Every day, I trained with Dax and his soldiers, trying to avoid my own thoughts—eager to return to my brother in Lys before the search in Myrh. Bennett and Sam joined me most of the time, teasing me about my punches until I kicked one of them in the groin.

“Her kick is good, though,” Sam had grunted, touching his sensitive parts, his blood rising on his face as Bennett barked a laugh.

Every night, I fell asleep reading the book Zaidkiel had given me, learning a little more about these beings.

I even learned why Zaidkiel and Nef’s eyes were so fascinating. Evarim were known for their precious stone hues: emeralds, sapphires, onyx, moonstone, citrine, rubies, amethyst, sunstone, rose quartz, and topaz. Some even had alexandrite eyes, changing with the light.

Before bed, we gathered in the living room at the house after training. Sam and Bennett enjoyed the calmness of the house compared to the ship, while Dax, Nefeli, and I were annoyed by their chaos. But tonight, Nefeli and I dined just the two of us, enjoying each other’s company.

After the third bottle of wine opened, my mind had drifted to an old time, where my only wish was to have a night away in the Old Town.

“Lyra knocked out some asshole who tried to steal her ale,” I explained, remembering one of our nights in at the Three Foxes, “and they decided to settle it with a dance contest to see who’d get the beer.” I barked a laugh, remembering the sweet aroma of lavender and spice from the place. “I jumped in too, and the whole pub ended up dancing on the table together.”

Nefeli chuckled, shaking her head. “I don’t believe you.”

“Oh.” I smiled, sipping my wine. “I swear it’s true.”

“Sorry, but I have such a hard time imagining you dancing on a table,” Nefeli laughed, drying a tear with a finger.

A soft smile played on my lips as I said, “Lyra had a way of bringing out my wild side.”

I wished Lyra were here with us tonight. I didn’t know when I would be able to see her again or have a night like that with her, full of talking and laughter.

I missed her so much that I kept talking again and again, trying to keep her presence nearby, just mentioning her, suppressing the ache.

Nefeli placed her glass against her chest and commented, “She seemed to be quite a woman.”

My glass of wine resting on my knees, I asked, “What about you? Is someone waiting for you to return in Lys? A friend? Or a lover, maybe?”

Nefeli rolled her eyes. “By the Ten, no.” With a gentle smile, she said, “I haven’t had any serious relationship since we left Evadrith.”

Still, a few times I did notice how Bennett acted around her—the way he’d always tried to tease her, to make her laugh.

“How so?” I furrowed my brow, ignoring my invading thoughts.

Nefeli smiled wistfully, saying, “You know, first love, it was never meant to last.” She sighed, her eyes gleaming as if she could see the past unfold before her. “Serik was a stable boy from our home and a mixed breed of lesser species.” Her fingers played with the rim of her glass. “The night everything came crashing down—when our father attacked our home—he caught us together in my room.” Biting her lips, she tried to suppress the emotion welling in her eyes, “He murdered him right in front of me, and after that, my father threw me to his soldiers.”

Seven Hells. A red fury rose in my veins, pulsing in my blood at the thought of what she had suffered—an order her father had given to his own soldiers, to hurt his own daughter. What kind of monster could do something like that?

“I’m so sorry,” I whispered.

“Nah, it was a century ago.” Nefeli shook her head and gestured with her hand. She grinned. “I have other lovers, don’t worry—just nothing serious.”

How could she still have the will to smile after all that? What strength did this woman possess to be able to laugh and hope after everything she’d been through?

“Even in Lys? You didn’t want to be close to anyone there?” I asked, giving her a piercing glance.

For a moment, she hesitated. Her face softened as she said, “I made a vow to avoid becoming overly attached to Humans.” Nefeli smiled, gently grasping my hand before releasing it. “Well, except for you, apparently. But you are not a lover—you are my friend.”

Nefeli sighed once more. “I find it difficult to open up to others, especially in that way. Taking my clothes off is always the easy part, but my heart…” Her hand met her chest. “…has become an impregnable fortress.” She stopped, deep in thought, and then whispered, “It’s torture to watch them age and die, while I have to endure an eternity of living.”